Mothering a feisty girl

Feisty, yes she is. She is petite like me.I call her petite just so that it sounds “right”. She is tiny. Like me. I am tiny person.

I am also a shy person but at different stages of my life I have been called many things including “chota patakha”, “do not go by her size” etc etc. I was once this feisty person but today when I am faced with a mini me, I am amazed.

My fiestiness came from insecure places, from an unsettled childhood and lot of insecurity. Hers comes from comfort, privilege and love. And that worries me the most. Will she be an entitled snob? Will she be obnoxious? Do Ineed to “control” her. As much as I hate these terms, I must confess I have started treading these paths. This is not a philosophy that I would want to subscribe and yet I dont know if I should just the feistiness increase.

While I wonder about all of this, I also worry if subconsciouly I am being unfair because she is a girl. I am that person who will fight for a woman’s rights but my sub conscious biases some time overrule my mind. It happens unknowingly. Does her fiestniess matter more becuase you are socially conditioned to raise sensible girls? Do we ever let go of our own impressions form our childhood? My family was just liek any otehr middle class educated family. Of course, I got my fredom but I also was expected to be teh girl of a certain kind.

I took my a long time to evolve from there. But have I really evolved?

Unlike me when I see her with her father, I think its a fair relation. Is it easy for fathers to give wings to daughters?

He also tries to discipline her but he also gives her a say, a voice. He revels in her feistiness.

Why then am I trying to curb and control? This is her, she has a distinct personality. She seeks a just treatment. And yet I try hard to reason, to make her curb her mannerisms. While trying to riase a well behaved child, am I forgetting the individual?

I know in the long run she will her onw person, much liek me. She will find her voice and learn to use it at the right place. I just hoep she finds her right balance.

 

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