You didn’t marry me because you wanted a wife. You only needed a maid.

Love me or hate me, but don't ignore me

It’s been 11 years of love marriage. He is not the cheesy romantic types, I get that. But, today 11 birthdays have gone unwished, 11 anniversaries gone unremembered. Initially, I used to make the effort of celebrating and wishing him in spite of his cold attitude. But how long could I continue alone? I am certainly not happy about it. Come to think of it, no one else should define your happiness, not even your spouse. 

Then, why do we women define ourselves on basis of what our spouses and in-laws think about us? Will I really become beautiful or ugly just because he says so? Will I become dumb because my MIL leaves no chance of ranting at me and uses derogatory words to describe me, while my spouse, who is supposed to protect my self-esteem, sits watching the show silently? When confronted, he easily gets away with, “I cannot change her, but I expect you to be considerate. It’s okay, she is my mother.” 

How I wish my mother could use such words from him and then see what he has to say about it. This society is a male dominant society. Popular actors, Babas and influential people say – “Take care of your mother; wife or girls you can always get, but you cannot replace your mother.”

Very well said. I completely agree. But, if that is true, why do I have to take permission to even visit my mother once in a year? Why do these so called philosophers and Babas forget that even a woman has her parents and should be given an equal opportunity as a man to take care of her parents? 

This way, after marriage, a man should take care of his parents and a woman should take care of her parents, both living apart from each other. Then why did we get married? Oh, I am sorry, I thought we both were getting married, but it seems I am the only one getting married here. Leaving my true self behind in my old house, I have just brought a maid to your house, to take care of you, your children, your parents, and listen to your judgements about me. You still have your parents, your house and your identity, you’re still the boss and you are obviously still loved in your house by your own  people. 

 

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