7 ways to teach your child not to argue

Children are extremely intelligent and smart. They observe their surroundings, their parents, and everything else. So it’s no surprise that they pick up the habit of arguing too. 
In an argument, people try to convince each other that they are right but a discussion is more amicable. So, what are the ways in which you can avoid falling a prey to arguments with your kids?

Make clear cut rules

If you have set out certain rules for your child, be clear about them. Children are very smart at finding loopholes for breaking the rules. For example, when you say it is time to study, be sure of what the child is supposed to do and not during study time.

Be clear with the consequences

At times, children might agree that they have broken the rules but start arguing when it comes to facing consequences. They will say that you are being unfair with them. They might object to the punishments being given. So, while setting the rules be very specific with the consequences they will have to face for breaking those rules.

Avoid negotiating over punishments

Sometimes children are so good at arguing that they start negotiating over the punishments. Avoid falling prey to this. When they have broken a rule, they just have to face the consequences, whatever those may be. Negotiating is almost equal to eliminating punishments.

Avoid arguing back

This makes it difficult to deal with them. Try to avoid having arguments with them. You can tell them that you will discuss it later. Or right now they need to do what you are asking them to do and later on you will have a conversation with them.

Increase the consequences in case of arguments

If you feel that the child is becoming adamant and is bent upon arguing then tell him that the consequences shall be increased in case they argue. Be firm with your decision and make it clear to them. For example, if you have set the punishment as no TV time for one day, then increase it to two days if they start arguing. The child will realise that his arguments will only increase the punishments and not decrease it.

Be firm and consistent

It does not make any sense if you give them empty threats. The child will see through your weakness and exploit it further. Once the child realises that his ability to argue has won him, he will do it even more the next time to get him what he wants. As parent, you need to be firm and consistent with what you said once.

Don’t make the punishments too harsh

Remember, a child is a child. We are punishing them in order to make them learn and not to make a rebel out of them. If the punishments are too severe or unreasonable, the child will protest and rebel. Try to replace the punishments the next time rather than enforcing the same ones again and again.

It is also important to make them understand that arguments will not lead to anything good but will only make the matters worse. Instead, they should put forth their thoughts and feelings when they are calm. They need to come with their view points in a more peaceful and thoughtful manner. Make them feel assured that their ideas and feelings are most welcome but only in an amicable way.

Last but not the least, set yourself as an example before them. If the children see you as arguing often, they will obviously do the same thing. Let them see you as someone who does not argue but someone who discusses his or her opinions peacefully. Give them a good example and they will immediately follow suit.

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