Early Miscarriage: How to cope

Coping with pregnancy loss

Whatever your circumstances, pregnancy loss can be devastating for everyone involved with your pregnancy - your partner, loved ones, friends and family. Other than grieving about the actual loss of the baby, you are also grieving your future, your imagined role as a parent, and the future of your child. You may have started wondering if you were having a girl or a boy, or started to think about favourite baby names.

Emotions after a miscarriage

  • Guilt: Try to bear in mind that many miscarriages happen for no reason. It is very unlikely to have happened because of anything you did or didn't do. It could be entirely chemical and the only thing you need to know is that you could not have prevented it in most cases.
  • Anger: with someone else who’s pregnant or who's had a baby. It’s a form of jealousy that manifests as anger.
  • Overwhelming sorrow: it may seem that everything you had hoped for has been taken away at a stroke.
  • Confusion: you may be groping around for answers. Unfortunately, miscarriages don’t all have a reason.
  • Anxiousness: grief can feel a lot like fear. You may lose your appetite, have no desire to eat or reason to live.
  • Numbness: you find it hard to concentrate or become withdrawn.
  • Exhaustion: You may feel tired, but unable to sleep. Or you may want to sleep all the time.

You have to let yourself feel what comes naturally. Everyone's experience with miscarriage is very different and there there is no one way to feel about this. It becomes extremely hard if you have broken the news of your pregnancy to people and now you are probably dreading telling them the bad news. Even if you physically feel fine, you may want to take time off from work.

You and spouse may find it hard to talk about this as you try to come to terms with this tragedy. Give yourselves time to grieve. It's natural to worry about saying something that might hurt your spouse or vice versa, but you must keep an open communication with each other. This will help both of you cope better.

Give yourself time to get over it and understand that like with all losses it may even strike you when you least expect it. However, do not worry about your future pregnancies or the chance of getting pregnant.

Can I have a healthy pregnancy after a miscarriage?

Studies show that there’s no actual relation between previous miscarriages and future pregnancies for most healthy women. The likelihood of your having a healthy pregnancy is far more than having another miscarriage.

You must remember that a miscarriage is usually a one-off occurrence in most cases involving otherwise healthy women. And there is no reason to believe that you will have problems next time around as well. You must keep in mind however, that the risk of miscarriage does increase with age, which is why you may want to try again soon if at all age is not on your side.

Depending on how you are feeling both physically and psychologically, your first appointment following a miscarriage is an opportunity to talk to your doctor about trying for a pregnancy again. Verbalize your concerns with your doctor. Is is not a bad idea to seek the reassurance and understand the facts from a professional.

When can I try to get pregnant again after a miscarriage?

Miscarriage is a huge setback for both you and your spouse. That considered, it's best to wait until you are both emotionally and physically before you try again.

Physically speaking too, your body will need to rebuild strength before it’s ready to conceive again. Your doctor will usually advise giving your body time enough to go through 2 -3 period cycles before you are ready to try again. Even to settle into a routine menstrual cycle it may take a couple of months for your body to settle into a regular cycle.