Dealing with frustration: husband not involved in child care

Dealing with frustration about your husband not being involved

Dealing with frustration about your husband not being involved

Many women often face a problem where they find that husbands are often around when it comes to taking credit of the child, but when it comes to sharing the responsibility of the handling a pregnancy and a child, they are often indifferent.

Why does this happen?

  • For years now, men have not been a part of pregnancy and child-rearing. To this day, there are some families that consider it a woman’s job. If your husband has been brought up in such a culture and has seen the elder men of the family behave as such, he is likely to behave the same way, not knowing that it affects you.
  • For the same reason, even if the man is interested in the whole thing, it can be quite overwhelming for him to take interest and understand. He may find it awkward to ask anything about your pregnancy.
  • With all the attention focused on you and your child, it is also likely that he is feeling left Out.
  • If nothing else, he is just not interested in the whole thing!

What to do?

  • Talk to your husband about why he is not getting involved in this whole pregnancy thing. Keep your mind open and receptive to his response. Don’t be judgmental.
  • If it is an issue of the culture, first talk to your husband that a baby is born out of the union of two people, mother and father, and therefore, his involvement is absolutely mandatory in this exciting journey to parenthood.
  • Talk to your family that apart from the aunts and grandmothers, you need participation from the other men of the family too, such as grandfather and uncles, and the baby’s father.
  • If he is interested but just doesn’t know what to do, gradually start involving him in your pregnancy. If he hasn’t been accompanying to your doctor’s appointments, start asking him to do so. Some doctors dedicate a part of the consultation time to talk to the father to be, and advise him on the care he should take.
  • Start with picking out the fun things to do while you are pregnant – window shopping for baby clothes, dreaming and discussing the child’s future, and picking out the names for the child. That ought to pique his interest.
  • Join antenatal classes with your husband, so that he gets to see more men involved in their wives’ pregnancy and it will ease the awkwardness, if any.
  • Most importantly, never think of it as helping , but think of it is as sharing.