5 birthing disappointments you’re thinking of ALL THE TIME!

Shilpa Shetty Kundra openly admitted to feeling disappointed that she had a baby boy Viaan. She had hoped for a baby girl. Of course she quickly admitted to feeling grateful for her son and how much love and joy he had brought in her life.

Similarly despite loads of yoga and healthy eating Lara Dutta is reported to have been let-down by her body when her baby Saira was in a breech position and had to be brought out via c-section.

Each of us women who have had babies feel some sense of disappointment during our birthing experience that seems to stay that way months after it is even relevant to feel anguish over.

“When I tell my husband he says, ‘arre bhool jao’. But somehow I am unable to forget it,” says my friend Rani who has had one daughter despite severe PCOD issues. It also rendered her second baby out of the realm of possibilities. Ladies, let us embrace our disappointments.

1. C-section

This has to be the number one cause of disappointment amongst most women. Months after their c-section they’re caught talking with other mums on how they never anticipated it. Mums are wont to feel like their body let them down by not birthing through the normal route. This causes a lot of anguish and pain in mums who have been prepared for a c-section previously.

2. Sex/looks of the baby

Like Shilpa Shetty  many of us got babies of the opposite sex than the one we desired. Even when mommies know that there is a 50-50 chance of one sex in their baby they clearly prefer one sex over the other. News papers say that most of India wants boys, surprisingly most of my friends always wanted girls.

Other times, mums tend to be disappointed by the looks of the child. “He looks nothing like me,” says a secretly sad mum.

3. Body of Issues

Many mums have told me that their chief disappointment has been with their own bodies. Many expect to have the exact same deliveries their moms/best friend/sister had. When plans go awry, they find it harder to come to terms with it.

1. Lactation: Delayed lactation often leads to a grudge the woman holds against her body.

2. Weight gain: When weight gain is too much by their own standards, they feel like their body decided to store fat instead of shedding and remain unhappy for months.

3. Stretch marks: Some of us have harsher stretch marks than others. No matter how much shea butter we pour onto our skin, truth is some people’s skin has more elasticity and seems to stretch far less than others.

4. Healing of episiotomy: Some mums jump right back after their episiotomies, while others seems to struggle with repeated infections that mar their memories of having their baby.

5. Depressed/ feeling blues/ need to cry for no reason: Many women don’t forgive themselves for feeling sad for no reason or rhyme. They feel foolish for feeling sad all the time.

4. The way doctor/nurse/caregiver behaved

“My doctor never made it to my delivery. After months of paying for her consultations, I was really really disappointed that she didn’t even come for my delivery,” said a friend. Similarly other friends had a terrible experience with the anaesthetian who gave them an epidural who poked them over 10 times to get the right nerve.

5. Husband/family’s reactions

Mums will be heartbroken if their husband’s or in-laws reaction on seeing their baby is anything other than pure unadulterated joy.

Since birthing is the mums moment, many things can set off a chain of dissatisfaction in her. Here were a few… what were yours mommy?

Feature Image Source: www.centralcoastmama.com

loader