Why it’s great to be a mom after 30

Before you start rattling off gazillion reasons like “the older you are, the more complications you may have” and “Oh, you will have no energy to run after your kids”, let me stop you right there. I know about these. But here’s the thing: I think it’s great to get pregnant even in your 30s, and you know why?

You’re ready

If you’re anything like me (or my friends), you’ve spent the better half of your late 20s wondering “Am I ready to shoulder such a huge responsibility yet?” or “Do I even have a maternity instinct?” or “I can’t even take care of a plant, how in hell will I ever take care of another totally helpless human being?” But by the time you’re, say 29.5 years old, you will be surer. In other words, you will know for sure whether you want a baby or not. And if you still don’t, don’t beat yourself up about it. You still have time.

You’ve “grown up”

No, really. You handle things with more maturity than impulsiveness. You really think about something before acting on it, i.e., you’ve become more responsible.

Many people may not agree with this, but I think one is too young to have babies in their 20s. Not just age-wise. In your teens, you’re scraping your way through school and college and then working hard at your first job in your early 20s, still trying to figure out how to be a grown-up when you still sleep till 1 in the afternoon on Sunday after having partied hard all through Saturday night, eat maggi for lunch, still cry over break-ups. Hell, I think you’re too young to even get married until you’re 28 (yes, that’s when I got married). Late 20s is when most of us start figuring out how life’s ups and downs work.

You aren’t the fiery, badass 20-something anymore who springs into one relationship one day and out of it the next. Your relationships with people in general are more stable. And you need that kind of emotional stability in your life before you can immerse yourself emotionally into a new person.

You’re sorted career-wise. Hopefully.

Most of us start working when we are in our early 20s. That means, by the time we are in our 30s, we’ve already worked for a good 8-9 years, and that’s a good work run. With that kind of experience under your belt, (even if it means that you have to take maternity leave at a senior position), it’s easier to get back into the workforce. Not easy, easier. It also means that all those years of working, you’ve managed to earn and save substantially, so you’re financially secure too. And that’s always a good thing.

You’ve done it all (or at least some of it)

For most of us, our 20s are a time to go wild. We’ve just started earning, and that gives us freedom of a kind we’ve never seen before. Suddenly, a whole new world pops open for us: We want to party, we want to travel with our gal pals, experiment with different career paths. If you have a baby that time, poof! All of that vanishes into thin air. You’ve got the money, but no time to travel (well, not at least the baby is a year old). You’re sick of your job, but you can’t try something new because you’ll have to start from scratch and how can you when you’ve got a giant responsibility now? But by the time you’re in your 30s, you have at least done some of these things. I know I did.

You will have friends for life

I personally think that late 20s are the time you make friends for life. Sure you make friends in college, but in 20s, you either keep them or you don’t. Now imagine having a baby when you’re 25. All your friends are out having drinks at the pub, and you’re at home drinking milk because some aunty said “Beta, aap doodh peeyoge tab hi toh baby ko doodh milega na”, which by the way is utter bull. As my favourite paediatrician once pointed out, “If breastfeeding required you to drink milk, then how do cows feed their calves despite eating grass all the time?”

Back to the point: You don’t even have time to talk to your husband, someone who lives under the same roof as you, forget talking to friends. But when you’re in your 30s and pregnant, you have those long-time friends to keep you company, and because they are also “grown-up” they will understand that you can’t give them as much time as earlier, but will always be around if you need them.  

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