Who says only Celebrities can be Adoptive Moms?

Who says only celebrities can be single moms to adopted children.

Meet the very inspiring and awesome former RJ and Programme Director with Radiocity- Vera Singh who is lovingly bringing up a daughter who she adopted couple of years ago in Lucknow.

Untitled design (83)

 

After taking the bold step of moving out of her parents home and living on her own in the same city as a single woman. Her family and friends were not too surprised when she decided on adopting a child and were very supportive especially through the two and half years it took to get her daughter home legally. All due to the case being heard by a judge specializing in criminal cases with no background in adoption cases. 2011 when finally her daughter came home is when her true parenting journey began.

Looking back at what prodded her to adopt her daughter, she says, “ I needed a purpose in life, something to look forward to.” When asked if she had felt a need of a spouse or partner during or after the adoption, she says, “I didn’t think it was required, we just carry on with our responsibilities as an individual. In fact it is easier to bring up a child alone without having a spouse or family to interfere with day to day decision making.”

Veera recounted the actual process of adoption when she had to go choose her daughter. Her friend who was working with Unichef at the time had suggested Vera to go to this NGO called Vardant Shishu Griha, which is run by an old couple.  She fell in love with the first baby they brought out, she says, “we just clicked right away and I knew she was the one.” That is how little Varnika came into Vera’s life and made it worth living.

The initial days with the baby as for any parent is always challenging, but Vera says, “I was prepared but total surrender happens as time passes.” Initially Vera continued with her morning shows at Radiocity but in 2014 she resigned due to not being able to spend time with the baby. And in 2015 she started her Academy of Rjing and Radio Learning so she could work out of home and spend ample time with her daughter. She also started her own audio production house called Vasudev productions in November 2015.

Untitled design (84)

When asked how is it managing a business and a demanding young child by herself she replies, “I call myself a superwoman!! It’s a special gift from God to all women to be able to multitask and manage everything job, children, home. “

Varnika who is turning 5 this year is a “silent naughty child” as described by her mother. “She has strong likes and dislikes and is very witty.” Idli, halwa and Chinese food are her hot favorite, and of course Doremon is her favourite cartoon character. When asked if Varnika knew that she was adopted, Vera tells us, “she is too young to understand at the moment, but I have told her she does not have a father and that I am single.” On inquiring when she plans on telling her, she said “I will take it head on when it comes. When she asks me the question I will answer it.”

Advice to single or married women who would like to adopt:

“It’s a beautiful thing. Bringing up a child. Loving a baby who needs love and care. She has made my life worth living.  I have not chosen her she has chosen and done me a favor. All children choose their parents whether adopted or one’s own. “ Vera replied.

How different is life now with Varnika?

“I have evolved as a person, see things from a different perspective. It makes you selfless and you think about your child first.  I am more mature, more forgiving, life is affected by our decisions. You understand your own mom much better.”

ve

At 46, Vera is different from the regular younger mommies in the mommy group at her daughters’ school.  When asked if she felt left out being an older mom she laughs and replies, “They are jealous of me as I don’t have much to crib about like mother in laws or husbands. Also, it is easier to bring up a child alone, there is nobody to affect your decisions and make you angry due to disagreement. I am a happy mother who has an equally happy and bindaas daughter.”

Vera is a role model in her own right who lives life on her own terms undeterred by a predominantly patriarchal society, bringing up her daughter single-handedly while successfully running her own business.  Kudos to this awe-inspiring lady!!

loader