Who does your husband love more – you or your mother? Here’s a quick test to find out!

Infuriating but loving. Taskmaster with a soft core.

Impossible yet kind. All-suffering but indomitable.

Hardworking yet slightly lonely. Gentle and steely.

Mothers come in so many packages. Which one is your mother like? Is she an unusually bright woman? Mum’s emotional antennas are very well honed to catch every mood change, aching heart, lack of confidence in any gathering of people. They are fantastic with health advice and tend to be warm, generous and unfailingly kind with every single person they meet.

My mum absolutely qualifies. So that when the time came for me to introduce my mum to the man I loved, I was confident that they would hit it off. And I was right. They get along swimmingly well and have a mutual admiration thing going.

It’s been 10 years now, and the mutual admiration has only grown 100 times more!

Does this look like your story? Here’s a quick check-list to know if you husband loves your mother more than you. If your answer is ‘yes’ to more than three of them, I am afraid your conclusion is right!

1. Compares her clothes/food/lifestyle choices with yours- holding her up as an example to follow

Often husbands compare us to our mothers unfairly. For example comparing my cooking with my mother’s is just plain sin! She is leagues ahead of me and loves to cook. I am a strictly cook-for-necessity kind of person and can never hope to match her heights.

Our advice? The thing to do in such a situation is to explain the main principle behind living in a free country with personal choices. Tell him that people choose to be who they are, and this one is yours! Hold your own in this conversation and half the battle is won.

2. Does he ask you to be more like her?

Or have you ever heard him ask, “Why can’t you be more like her?” As hurtful as this is, it usually happens because your husband has unconsciously kept your mother as the meter to judge any action by.

What to do?- Hold out two fingers and say – two people – two different minds. The chief reason you cannot be like her is because you are not her!

3. Amongst friends, does he talk extremely highly of her?

Giving her lavish compliments, praising her choices and generally talking like she is the paragon of all virtues are all signs that he does adore his MIL. Fret not.

Be careful- Do not give in to the temptation of bringing out some of her negative points that you may know as a daughter. That would mark you as the petty one and worry your conscience forever.

4. Finds reasons to visit your maternal home more often than his

Have you noticed a curious tendency in your hubby dear to visit your maternal home more than his parents’ home? Reasons could be many – like how your mum is more hospitable or that your mum cooks better.  All the better for you, isn’t it?

5. Buys her outrageously expensive gifts

Whether for her birthdays or on his travels, does your husband choose the best gifts for your Mum? This is usually a dead give-away that your hubby worships her more than you.

Reason? Gift buying is a tedious process and takes money and effort especially on work travels. If your husband has reserved the best item for your mum, then he is clearly mad about your mum!

Worry not. This is actually reason to celebrate. This only proves that both of you share a mutual love for the best people in the world- mums!

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