When your child tells you that his/ her teacher is rude

bad teacher rude to your child-Parenting resources by ZenParent

The words ‘I don’t want to go to school, my teacher is rude to me’ can be very distressing for parents. While it is very natural for all parents to worry and react on hearing this from their kids; it is equally important to take a step backwards, get a complete overview of the scenario and then proceed towards taking a significant step.

If you, as a parent, find yourself in this situation, you could try these tips to help you and your child deal with the problem more effectively and work towards a solution.

1. Be willing to Hear and Get to the Facts- Young children have a vivid imagination and love cooking up stories and hence, most parents often tend to ignore such complaints, trivialize the issue and believe it will get sorted out on its own. But whether the issue at hand is imaginary or not, it is important for the child to be heard. Parents can empathize with the child and can try asking a few probing questions like ‘why do you feel your teacher is rude’ or ‘what actually happened’. This will give parents an insight into the actual reality of the situation to decide the course of action.

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2. Avoid criticizing the teacher- Once parents have a better understanding of the situation, and although they feel the teacher is being unreasonable, they should never criticize or blame the teacher in front of the kid. The best bet is to wait it out and check if the kid is still complaining after a period of time.When parents point fingers at teachers, they indirectly pass on a message that teachers are wrong and they can be disrespected or disobeyed. This affects the learning attitude in children. So, make sure that everything is taken care of- whether it’s your child’s behaviour around the teachers or vise versa.

3. Highlight the positivity of the situation- If parents realise that the child only finds his teacher rude because she is strict and is pushing the child to perform better, then a little motivating guidance is in order. Kids have to be made to understand why certain learning procedures are important for them and so, statements like ‘She knows you can do better and that’s why, she is forcing you to do a little more’ or ‘Wow! Since you have a tough teacher you are going to learn how to be tough too’ can help your kid cope up better and learn a few life skills.

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4. Get involved only if there is no way out- If your kid continues to complain and you start noticing a change in the behaviour as well as in the academic performance, then it is time for you to pitch in. Parents can schedule a meeting with a teacher in person and discuss the issue further. If that meeting does not help resolve the problem then probably taking this up with the higher authorities should be considered. However, it is important for parents to keep in mind that children are extremely sensitive and it is advisable to keep all the proceedings as low key as possible for your child not to be dragged in any unwanted spotlight.

Parents often find themselves at crossroads while dealing with their kids. The directions are never clear and there is no map. But with attributes like parental instinct and curiosity to learn more, there is always respite. That is why, even though the circle of trial and error continues, parents sooner or later find themselves on the right track.

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