When your child stops talking to you after an argument

child not talking after an argument- Parenting resources by ZenParent

Children can become opinionated in their growing years and feel no one really understands them. (we can’t really blame them for feeling this way since it’s the age that makes them feel so…don’t you think?) Many a times, they have difference of opinion with their parents.  This can be due to generation gap, basic differences in nature, or the fact that parents sometimes don’t try to understand the child’s point of view.  In such cases, the difference of opinions end up in arguments, sometimes mild, sometimes very heated.  Consequently, the child might stop interacting with the parent!  He/she might slam the door and refuse to communicate at all!

Generally, in such cases, parents and children, both being human, may tend to lose their calm and decide to reciprocate by not communicating as well.  But does this really help?  Howsoever angry or hurt a parent might be, still they are parents and it’s their responsibility to make the child realize his mistake or if the parent is at mistake (yes parents also make mistakes) to talk to the child, apologize if need be, and sort it out.

Gone are the days when parents instructed and the child had to listen, willingly or reluctantly, and he/she didn’t have the option of exercising his/her opinion.  But times have changed, now parents are friendlier with the kids and they give the children an opportunity to be vocal about their likes, dislikes, choices, participate in the home matters, have a say in career and such.  This is one of the reasons of clashes and arguments.

Raising two kids, one an almost teen and one an almost tween, I have often dealt with many such situations.  My tips to bring back peace and restore communication in such situation is:

child not talking- Parenting resources by Zenparent

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1. If you, the parent, is really angry and would want to yell at your child for being rude or stubborn, just try to stay calm for some time and then react. Reacting angrily at such situation worsens it.

2. After some time, go and have a heart-to-heart chat with the child. Listen to him and also try to make him/her understand if they have been unreasonable.  But the tone should be friendly.

3. Don’t start lecturing the kids. Often parents, including me, do this mistake of lecturing the child.  Simple crisp chat should help.  Tell the child that such behavior of theirs is disrespectful and hurts too.

4. As a parent, you have to make the first move. Let go off your ego and anger and approach the child.  At the same time, make the child realize his/her mistake.

5. As the child starts growing up and becoming more opinionated and considers himself/herself as an “adult” the parents should be more communicative. A preteen or teen can get more stubborn and defiant and stop sharing things if not handled carefully.

6. A warm hug, a peck, a calm talk can work wonders. After all, they are children and we need to shape them up as patient and considerate individuals.

Come what may but the channel of communication should always remain open.

Help your restless child calm down by clicking here.

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