When my child failed a class…

class failure- Parenting resources by ZenParent

The phrase ‘There is a hidden opportunity in every setback’ was only a phrase for me when a particular incident in my life brought those words to life and soaked me with their actual essence.

My son was in 7th grade, a time when kids usually go through a lot of biological and emotional changes and my son being no exception, was caught in the whirlpool of various distractions too. Studies took a back seat and despite repeated warnings from school and discussions amongst us, nothing seemed to be working. I could sense as a mother that something was bothering him but could not place a finger on it, until one day when it all came out in the open. Since he was a mischievous kid, he was mostly singled out and targeted. Sometimes, for no fault of his and this was not only demotivating him to perform but had also turned him in to a rebel. The final exams were done and it was result time. The school decided to make my son repeat the class and it was on that day I saw in his eyes that it had hit him hard when he was surrounded by all the kids who had passed and were rejoicing. I had to be the strong mother and let him face the consequences of his own actions but I choose to hug him tightly and whisper in his ears that what had happened was past and we were going to enter the future with renewed hope.

fails in class- Parenting resources by ZenParent

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Although, these are very confusing times for parents regarding the approach they should have, it is very important to refrain from nagging & scolding or insulting the child. But letting him know instead that it is not the end of the world. And no matter what, his parents are there for him. We tried to cheer and comfort him and also gave him the quiet time alone to reflect on what had happened. I have to add here that those were the most difficult days for me but I didn’t want to vent out my frustration on my son and ruin his self- esteem further. (Thank God I withheld all my anger). When things were a little stable, it was time for the most crucial decision. My son had expressed his discomfort about having to go back and facing his friends and teachers but according to my family, this was something he had to be prepared for to grow stronger in life. And they were right. One has to accept and face failure and not give up. But something instinctively tugged within me to believe that my son would never be encouraged or motivated in that school for him to bring out his best and so, there was this tough dilemma of deciding between a life lesson and one more chance .

I put my foot down on the latter after a lot of deliberation and despite all odds and against all logic & opinions & advice, changed my son’s school. I zeroed in on a new school that had a cheerful ambience and friendly, non- threatening & encouraging teachers who would hopefully help my son bounce back. After weeks of being in constant touch with the teachers and working in unison, I finally saw what I was craving for. A happy satisfied smile on my son’s face. Without complaints or warnings from school my son cleared each grade showing considerable improvement every time and the boy who was once scorned by his earlier school principal that he was a failure….went on to score 94% in his tenth grade and was felicitated by his current school for being a dedicated and successful student.

tops class- Parenting resources by ZenParent

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Our kids often go through rough patches in their academic lives and find themselves at the mercy of everyone’ judgement and criticism. But should we parents also join the wagon? My son did learn his lessons but giving him a firm base of love and support helped him regain himself first and what was built & learnt later not only stayed but continues to guide his way even today….

How to face criticism from others about your being a parent? Find out the answer here.

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