What I Want My Husband to be in order for him to be an Ideal Father

Written By Blogathon Consolation Prize Winner : Jayashree Rukhaiyar 

 

Aren’t we women experts at making lists! Talk about the qualities of an ideal husband/ father and out we come with 30 points, each with 10 sentences in details and subheadings and sub lists. Imagine what would happen if this same question were to be posed to a man! Wouldn’t it be termed strange? Wouldn’t a woman consider it unnatural to get a 30-point list from a man on how to be a good mother?

As mothers, we are often the “know-it-all” person for our child, but according to me, each of us takes a unique journey, a day at a time, to learn what makes our little one tick. And so do our husbands. They too take a wonderful transitional journey from being a son/ husband / brother to being a father.

So here’s my view on this topic. In the last five years of being a mother, I have seen my husband grow wonderfully into the role of a father. Unlike me, he doesn’t even read parenting blogs, but in his own way, here are the three things that I see him passing on to my children every day that makes him not just an ideal father to my children but an ideal man.

Being respectful: From the very beginning, I was clear about marrying a man who respects his parents because he will understand and respect my love for my parents too. My husband has never raised his voice or even back-answered to his parents until date and he treats my parents with equal courtesy. This quality is of paramount importance because his behaviour towards his elders is setting the course of our sons’ behaviour towards us. And not just elders, this extends to respecting women, peers and even the environment. Today, my sons watch their father when he slowly moves an ant away from the path of their cycle. Every day my husband holds up the mirror to the kind of men I want my sons to be when they grow up.

Working hard: When my husband decided to re-enter the world of long distance running, he couldn’t practice for his first marathon.  As a result, he did not even attempt to run. The incident left him with a desire to prove to himself and the world that he still had it in him. From then on there was no looking back. Today, I can say with pride that he has completed multiple half marathons in the last one year with a best time of 2:29! My sons now look at his marathon medals in wonder and the elder one wants to “get medals like papa”.  How you play and react to winning and losing in sports is a big judge of a person’s character. Now, when my sons watch my husband work hard and complete his run, it subtly teaches them lessons in endurance, playing fair, winning, losing, trying and not giving up.

Love and acceptance: My husband isn’t perfect but neither am I. We’ve learned to love and accept each other with our little imperfections. Like any couple, we have our share of fights but we stand by each other as a team when facing the world. As a father who loves and respects their mother, he teaches our children every day the importance of surrounding themselves with good relationships. My husband may not be able to make it to every stage performance but never leaves home without kissing our children goodbye. He may not be an expert at changing diapers but he never fails to call once a day from office asking what the children are up to. As human as we are, we may make mistakes while raising our children but we will choose to learn and move on.

Each person may have their own list on what they consider to be ideal. Life is too small to spend it trying to fit into someone’s list of ideal or making someone fit into yours. Just like I wouldn’t want a list of “good mother” qualities thrust in my face, I choose to let my husband do his best as a father.

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