Wedding #anniversaries are just another day

don't make wedding day as just another day - ZenParent
The other day I was talking to my friend next door. It was 10am on a Wednesday morning, when she suddenly realised that it was her wedding anniversary and she had forgotten to wish her husband that morning.  Interestingly, her husband had also forgotten that it was their anniversary.  I think this is fairly common with a lot of couples married for over a decade. It becomes just another day. We are so caught up with the kids, our careers and a hundred other things that seem to be very important and a part of us is saying, “Oh, come on, after all this time, what is the big deal?” Some of us go out for dinner with the children – kids are excited to go out. It usually becomes one more dinner out with the kids vying for attention and interrupting conversations. When friends ask “Hey, so what is special today,” we say “Oh, it is just another day."

celebrate the wedding anniversary - ZenParent

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But should it be just another day? Gift giving also, for many of us, tapers away over the years. In the initial years, we make an effort to buy something, then slowly it becomes, “Oh, you know what you want, so just get yourself something.” Everything becomes mundane and taken for granted.  Who needs stupid days like anniversaries, Valentine's day and birthdays…. too much stress!Contrast this with another friend. She has been married for over two decades now and yet every year, on their wedding anniversary, the husband takes the day off from work, they go out shopping together, pick out stuff that each of them wants to buy, have a nice leisurely lunch, sometimes catch a movie and come home by the time the kids return from school.  When my friend said that they have been doing this for the past two decades, I think I was torn between jealousy and incredulity. Today, many of us are drifting into that situation where we are sitting on the couch together, each with our phones and lost in our own worlds.When we hear about Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, many of us smirk, “Is it only that day when you should call your mum or dad or be respectful? Rest of the year you can do whatever you want?” But I don’t think that is the intention. You pick one day in the year to  pause, to be grateful for that relationship, to appreciate its role in your life, to celebrate it in some way.


So going forward, in the new year, my resolution is to celebrate my marriage anniversary. I am giving my husband nine months’ notice to make sure he is available on that day for us. I am going to adopt my friend’s idea, and just go out, shop, movie, lunch- make it a date- make an effort, pause to celebrate the things that we take for granted!