Three Tedious Things about Motherhood

Published On  August 16, 2016 By

Motherhood is wonderful. Thirty per cent of the time anyway. The rest of the time, it’s like shrieking through a dark tunnel without knowing if the light at the end is the sun or an approaching train. Or simply the stars in your eyes after you’ve stumbled over a Lego block.

Motherhood can be super tedious at times. There, I said it. I don’t mean that children are boring. Children can be really entertaining when they are not yours. When, for instance, you are watching a child apply spaghetti to its head with dedication in a restaurant. Or observing a child dig its nose with the inquisitiveness of a budding scientist. But when they are yours, and you are in charge of their health and happiness, then oh my god, it does get tedious at times.

Watching the slow progress of food

I know mothers who’ve done baby led weaning; mothers who have successfully raised a sensible child who knows that the food is for its own goddamn sustenance. But such mothers are a slim minority.

For most, meal time is agonizing. You make a dish worthy of Masterchef and lay it in front of your child who looks at it with complete disdain. Then, because you’ve put in so much effort, it becomes your life’s mission to make your kid eat it. But does she? No, she stores balls of food in her mouth for hours together without ever swallowing, reducing you to tears.

Answering Why, What, Where, How

When I was pregnant, I was convinced I wanted a really curious child with a really curious mind who’d want to understand everything about the universe and its uncle the second it was born.

But after the baby was out, I realized that I’d been misled like one of those unfortunate characters in mythological stories who asked for a boon without realizing what she was asking for. I do appreciate the many innovative questions that my daughter comes up with, but sometimes, I wish children came with a ‘Mute’ button.

Just once in a while, some silence would be good. I do not know why this butterfly is not pink, I’m sorry.

Clearing up the toys

I just don’t know how we have so many toys at home. We almost never buy my daughter any but people keep gifting her toys and there are just mountain ranges of plastic junk at home currently.

And no matter how many times you sing ‘Clean up, clean up, everybody clean up!’ in a fake cheery voice, it’s a tedious task to clear up the drawing room after every play session. Where do you store all this? Where do we walk? Where do we sit? How do we live?

There are many more such tasks to the list, but I’m starting to sound like an evil mommy. So I’m stopping with a big fake smile and passing the baton on to you. What about motherhood do you find tedious? Accept this motherhood dare now!

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