And this is why I think the girl children who were killed at birth were luckier than us


You would have seen this on Facebook already. You may have posted this on Facebook too, as have countless women, who, for the first time ever, are speaking out about sexual abuse. Some of us offered no explanation. Some of us didn’t talk about how we were 5 when we were touched by a relative. Some of us just posted the hashtag - and it speaks volumes.

Or at least we thought it did. Just when we were feeling a sense of solidarity and comfort in the countless faceless women who had gone through the same hell as we have, a man emerged from the depths of Instagram to show us just how deluded we are when we think #notallmen might be true.

Remember #notallmen? It was an attempt by some men to tell the world that not all men have a perverted psyche. Then there was #mard by Farhan Akhtar that gained a lot of celebrity support for standing up against rape and discrimination. And somewhere, we hoped that maybe, just maybe, there were a few good men too.

Then this man emerged. His name is Vinay Nair. On his Instagram handle, he had posted 60+ videos where he touched unsuspecting women wearing sarees or kameezes with a slightly lower neckline. Yes, you heard it right. He was touching women on their bare backs without consent, and filming it for social media.

#notallmen? Really? Then what explains the 1600+ followers he gained, all men, who called themselves his fans? These are the men who liked and commented on these videos, which had hashtags like #longtouch #sweaty #baby #sexy #cream #closeup #brastrap #slowmotion and yes, #touchedtheback. These are the men who called some of these videos his best posts, and when he posted a video after a short break, welcomed his return saying it was good to have him back on Instagram.

We didn’t want to link his profile here, because we definitely didn’t want him to have any more views than he already, unfortunately, has. But when we tried to check his Instagram profile for screenshots to show you the extent of his perversion, we got a message saying the account does not exist. We are hoping Instagram has removed his account but is it not only a matter of time before he gets back on social media under an alias? And while removing this sexual predator was a great idea, what about the men who liked and commented on his videos? They may or may not have done exactly what Vinay Nair does. They are probably doing it right now in a bus. They are probably thinking of it right now as they see a little 2-year old girl who hasn’t yet learned to sit with her legs together. Like the man who raped an 11-month old girl, they are probably in deep, at least in their heads.

See, that’s the thing about our world. Rape culture is real, no matter how some people deny it. If they can’t rape you, they will touch you. They will touch not just your breasts, your hips or your vagina, which are obvious places, but also something as innocuous as your back. Because it’s #sweaty?

Does it scare you? It should. Because, this, unfortunately, is no country for women.

Feature image: F**k My Cancer