The letter your Teenager can’t write you

teenage silence- Parenting resources by ZenParent

I read this article ‘Parent’s Corner: The letter your Teenager can’t write to you‘ by Gretchen Schmelzer and it struck a chord in me. It was a throwback to my own childhood as I read this insightful letter. It was just in time , as we celebrated my daughter’s 13th birthday a few weeks ago. It reminded me of how it could be on the other side.  As we move along in life, we forget the battles we had, the crazy that we WERE, the hormones that made us insane and made us say and do the most hurtful things to our parents. If I were to be brutally honest, I must confess that I drove my parents up the wall during my teen years. I could not see eye to eye with my dad and every day we sparred with our words and with my mom, it was with tears. My mom, the softer one was completely lost at what had become of her only sweet obedient child. Until then, I had been the class topper. The dutiful child who did as she was told. The one who never raised her voice or asked a question. And then the black magic of 13 happened.

sad teen parents can't reach- Parenting resources by ZenParent

Talking back with wicked words, doing badly at school, having fights with friends – about which I could not share with anyone, and being an only child with no co-conspirators-It was a really messy affair as I struggled with trying to act like an adult while still caught up in my childhood. This article resonated with me because it reminded me of how confusing, lonely and scary it can be on the other side. How you sometimes feel that the whole world is against you and nothing is going your way.

So now that I am officially the mother of a teen, this article reminded me to give her unconditional love. It reminded me  not to berate her in front of friends or relatives for her shortcomings which would make her feel small and insignificant.  And finally, it reminded me to NEVER give up on her no matter how much she behaves like a lunatic from hell.. because I have been there.. done that.. bought the T-shirt. Now it is time to stay strong for her.. and NEVER LET GO.

Want to read the original letter? Find it here.

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