Surprising ways to tell if your child has low self esteem

Child with low Self Esteem



Just about every decision you make in life, the quality of relationships, your success at work, almost all of them are deeply influenced by how you feel about yourself. People with high self esteem usually seem to be more peaceful, less suspicious of others, more successful in life and generally happier. It’s almost the opposite for those with low self esteem.

What is self esteem?
Self esteem is the idea one has about oneself. It is how valuable and important a person thinks they are and how much they respect themselves. Self esteem is important because it has far reaching effects on a person’s life and choices and has a strong bearing on their relationships and work.
Healthy self-esteem in children is like their armour against the challenges of the world. Children and teenagers with healthy self-esteem know their strengths and weaknesses, feel good about themselves and seem to have an easier time handling conflicts and resisting negative pressures.

child with looking at mirror with self esteemImage Source

What is low self esteem in children?

child looking at mirror with low self esteem

image source

Low self esteem is a debilitating condition that keeps kids from realising their full potential. A child with low self esteem feels unworthy, incapable, incompetent, and even unloved and unaccepted. Kids with low self esteem can find challenges to be sources of major anxiety and frustration. These kids think poorly of themselves, have a hard time finding solutions to problems. Such children can often be given to self-critical thoughts such as “I’m no good” or “I can’t do anything right”. Faced with a new challenge, their immediate response might be “I can’t”. Low self esteem can often lead to learning disabilities, disciplinary problems, and even depression later on in life.


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Kids with Low self esteem:
• don’t feel good about themselves
• don’t think they are as good as others
• think mostly bad things about themselves
• think of the times they fail, rather than the times they do well
• are hard on themselves and give up easily
• don’t feel liked, accepted, or respected

Does my child suffer from low self esteem? 

Mother worried about her childimage source

Take a quiz

Below is a checklist of statements that will help you identify the warning signals so that you know if your child is suffering from low self-esteem.

A word of caution. This is merely a guideline. Most children will exhibit some of these characteristics from time to time, but this does not necessarily indicate that they have low self-esteem.

• Your child has a tendency to daydream and often makes up stories about herself and her life. She wishes she was someone else and that her life was different. Yes No

• Your child is constantly running herself down and making derogatory comments about herself.
    Yes No

• Your child shrinks away from attention, positive or negative. Yes No

• Your child is lethargic. Yes No

• She doubts her abilities. Thus, she is afraid of accepting responsibility for anything. Yes No

• She is very indecisive, as she has no faith in her judgement. Yes No

• She is extremely shy in front of strangers and her peers, as she fears that she will not measure up to their standards. Yes No

• She bullies younger and weaker children in a show of power. Yes No

• She is attracted to authoritative, confident people and subscribes to their views because she doesn’t trust their own judgement. Yes No

• She is isolated from her peers because she does not push herself forward to participate in games and avoids leadership roles. Yes No

• She tends to be submissive and does not assert herself. Yes No

• She seeks attention by boasting about her possessions or plays the fool and disrupts other children’s games. Yes No

• She has a short attention span and gets frustrated easily when things don’t go smoothly. Yes No

• She is not comfortable in new situations and becomes extremely anxious that she will not be able to cope. Yes No

• If she succeeds at something, she thinks it’s because she got lucky or that it was easy. She doesn’t ascribe success to her own abilities. Yes No

• If she fails, she inevitably thinks that it is because of her lack of intelligence or ability. Yes No

• She does not like to work independently and she is constantly asking people if she’s doing things the right way. Yes No

• She does not ask too many questions out of the fear of being thought stupid. Yes No

• She rarely laughs or smiles because she is too busy worrying about putting a foot wrong. Yes No

• She often says nasty things about her peers. Yes No

Total number of Yes :
Total number of NO :

As mentioned before, measuring self esteem is not as simple as taking temperature. However, if you have answered ‘yes’ to 9 or more statements, it is possible that your child has a self esteem problem. To know more, you could reach out to our resident child psychology and behavioral expert on the number below.


To know more,    Call us on 9036004694