Stop Yelling Toolbox

It happens to the best of us. Our kids throw a tantrum in an obvious bid to evoke a reaction. After showing some restraint the flood gates sometime give way and before we know what’s happening, we are yelling! Only to feel infinitely guilty after a short while when things have cooled down. It’s all well and good to say that we should exercise control and deal with the situation in a more composed way. Hard when you actually get down to practicing it. I found these tips which I was determined to try out for a month to see how things progressed.

Mother scolding her daughter

4 weeks down!  It’s been a full month since I yelled at my kids…and it feels so good!

In this month, I’ve learned a lot about yelling.  I’m getting a better understanding about why parents yell, the different levels of yelling, and most importantly how to stop yelling when we’re angry.

The most beneficial thing I’ve kept with me is that…

I can not control my children’s behavior.  I can only control how I REACT to it.

My reactions are the piece that matters.  Children are not going to be perfect all the time.  As parents, we are going to be angry and disappointed at their behaviors now and again.  They are learning and they will make mistakes.  How we react to those mistakes is where the real teaching begins.

So, when I get angry, what are my children learning from me?

Do I want them to learn to yell at others when they get angry?

No.

Do I want them to learn that yelling is an appropriate way to get what they want?

No.

I must be a better example.  I must show them how to handle the anger that they will feel.

To help myself, and the other parents , I’ve made a Stop Yelling Toolbox.  With these tips, we’ve been working on calming ourselves or redirecting our anger in other, more appropriate ways.

It’s not a toolbox of parenting techniques to change our children so that we won’t have to yell.  That’s something totally different.  It’s a toolbox of techniques to keep from yelling at them when we do get angry.

yelling2

Stop Yelling Tool Box

So Pretend you are on camera : we always act better when we think we are watched.

Yell somewhere else : instead of shouting at kids, go somewhere else to get out your frustration.

Whisper : it not only calms you down, but often lowers your kids volume of voices too.

Calming Bottle : have a calming bottle to look at when you start feeling overwhelmed.

Have a sticker Chart : Let your kids decide if you earn a ticket for the day for not yelling.

Find a Mantra : have a statement that you say when things start getting out of control.

Turn up the Music : Put on your favorite  tunes and dance and sing away the anger.

Tell your kids :  be honest about your feeling to your kids. tell them you are getting frustrated and trying your best to be calm.

So tell me, are there any that you want to try?  Am I missing one that you already do that works?  Any other pointers?

 

the above information first appeared in http://dirtandboogers.com/

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