Tired, moms? Here are some tips for a slow, lazy sex session

Did you just smile reading the title? Yep, that’s exactly what you need, isn’t it? Sure, we all love our kids, but when they make us scamper behind them all day long like a Tom and Jerry show, we just want to put them over our knees for a good spanking (not that we do) and then pack them off to bed. Then put away leftovers, wipe down the kitchen, get things ready for the morning. Finally, time for bed. Because the hubby’s waiting.

Except this. You don’t remotely have the hots for him after the day you’ve had. But you can’t put your sex life on hold for months together, can you? So, here’s a secret. Your partner wants action, you want to lie back and relax. I’m telling you that you can have both. Win-win.

How? Simple trick: lazy sex positions! With these, you won’t have to move so much. And they’re super fun because they activate the pleasure centres in your brain just as much. Plus there’s nothing like a good night’s sleep after an you feel the release. Well, what you waiting for? Try them!

1. Crosswise:2 Cross

Let’s start with the laziest. He lies on his side facing you, you lie on your back perpendicular to his crotch, knees on his hips. If you do it right, neither of you will move any part of your body except for your pelvis. Watch.

2. Cross-legged:4 Sit

This one’s exactly like it sounds. He sits in sukhasan, you sit on his lap facing him, legs wrapping his back. This time, you don’t have to move at all; he pushes you up and down. Orgasm for you, weight-lifting for him.

3. Over-the-sofa:3. Sofa

Think doggie. Except, when you do it over the sofa’s arm, you don’t really have to work to keep your body taut so you don’t keel over every time he thrusts. Armrests are great support, as long as they’re soft and padded.

4. On your knees:1. Sideways

Nope, not talking about oral. This might require a little more effort on your part and less on his, but it’s much easier than riding him because you won’t have to use your thighs as much. Make him lie down and straddle just one leg, back to him. Use your knees as hinges, and voila! You have it right.

5. Chest-to-chest:

5 side-side

Love to hug? You’ll love this more. Involves being on your feet, but you’ve built up those muscles running behind your terrible toddler, so this will be nothing in comparison. He raises a leg, you sling yours over his. Yeah, that’s it.

6. Spooning:


I’ve saved the best for last. You love spooning, don’t you? Both on your sides, your back against his chest. You feel his warmth, cuddle-cuddle, snuggle-snuggle. Move up just a bit, so that your butt is over his crotch. Add a little lube if you need to and zoom! Off you go.

You asked. We answered.

Dear Ms Blacklace,

My wife and I had a baby two years ago, and ever since, there’s been a change in our sex life. It’s not that it’s any less fun, only much less frequent. She’s tired, I get it - having a kid sure takes it out of you. It’s still frustrating for me. She understands that, and I can see that she tries really hard to stay awake long enough for action time at least once in two weeks. I feel like I want some more, except that I also want to make sure it’s easy on her. What do I do?

Mr Want-more-action

Dear Mr Action

I’m really glad you put it that way. You’re right about having a baby being hard on a woman, but what you missed out was how hard taking care of that child is. Imagine being on the treadmill eight hours a day. That’s what it’s like. So if you really want to help your wife ease things out and spare some energy for your nighttime raids, pitch in with household stuff whenever you have the time after work. Because, yes, being a homemaker and stay-at-home mom are two very different, very stressful jobs. Once you give her a hand there, start off with those lazy positions I told you of up there. You’re bound to feel different. Tell us how it goes!

Ms Blacklace

If you have sex/relationship questions, do write to me at blacklace@zenparent.in . Your queries will be treated and answered anonymously on the column. Have a sexy week ahead!