A psychologist says parents should do these 9 things to raise a more confident child

Beta, come here. Time for homework.
But I want to play for a little more time!
Enough playing. Your test is coming.
Please!
Shashank, you already did very badly in maths in the last test. You have to get at least 10 marks more this time. Come. Quickly!

You know what's wrong here.

By Jacquelyn Smith

 

 

1. Encourage practice to build competence

Encourage your child to practice whatever it is they're interested in — but do so without putting too much pressure on them.

Harmony Shu, a piano prodigy, told Ellen DeGeneres that she started practicing when she was just 3 years old.

"Practice invests effort in the confident expectation that improvement will follow," Pickhardt explains.

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2.  Avoid creating short cuts or making exceptions for your child

Special treatment can communicate a lack of confidence, Pickhardt says. "Entitlement is no substitute for confidence."

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3. Never criticize their performance

Nothing will discourage your child more than criticizing his or her efforts. Giving useful feedback and making suggestions is fine — but never tell them they're doing a bad job.

If your kid is scared to fail because they worry you'll be angry or disappointed, they'll never try new things.

"More often than not, parental criticism reduces the child's self-valuing and motivation," says Pickhardt.

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4. Treat mistakes as building blocks for learning

Learning from mistakes builds confidence," he says. But this only happens when you, as a parent, treat mistakes as an opportunity to learn and grow. 

Don't be over-protective of your child. Allow them to mess up every now and then, and help them understand how they can better approach the task next time. 

Pickhardt says parents should see "uh-oh" moments as an opportunity to teach their kids not to fear failure.

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5. Open the door to new experiences

Pickhardt says you, as a parent, have a responsibility to "increase life exposures and experiences so the child can develop confidence in coping with a larger world." 

Exposing children to new things teaches them that no matter how scary and different something seems, they can conquer it.

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6. Teach them what you know how to do

You are your child's hero — at least until they're a teenager. 

Use that power to teach them what you know about how to think, act, and speak. Set a good example, and be a role model.

Pickhardt says watching you succeed will help your child be more confident that they can do the same.

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7. Don't tell them when you're worried about them

Parental worry can often be interpreted by the child as a vote of no confidence, he says. "Expressing parental confidence engenders the child's confidence."

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8. Applaud their courage to try something new

Whether it's trying out for the travel basketball team or going on their first roller coaster, Pickhardt says parents should praise their kids for trying new things. He suggests saying something as simple as, "You are brave to try this!"

"Comfort comes from sticking to the familiar; courage is required to dare the new and different," he says. 

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9. Celebrate the excitement of learning

Kids look to their parents for how they should react to things. So if you get excited about them learning how to swim, or speaking a new language, then they'll be excited about those things too. 

"Learning is hard work and, when accomplished, creates confidence to learn more, so celebrate this willingness to grow," Pickhardt advises.

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SOURCE:  businessinsider.com

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