All you need to know about the second child syndrome

Your second pregnancy always will not be as same as your first one. From the excitement you feel when the second blue line appears in your pregnancy test strip, to the concerns and worries that you experience throughout the pregnancy, everything will differ in your second pregnancy. You will be definitely happy. But as exuberant as the first pregnancy? Chances are very rare. This is because,

  • You have the older child to look after 
  • You will be very confident during the second pregnancy as you have already been through all the physical and emotional changes
  • You will not have the usual worries and fears of a first-time mum.

Therefore, evidently, the pregnancy order has an impact on your feelings. If that is so, does the birth order affect your child’s personality and behavior? Have you ever heard about the second child syndrome? Continue reading to understand the second child syndrome in a better way.

What is the second child/ middle child syndrome?

The second child syndrome (when the number of siblings is two) or middle child syndrome (when the number of siblings is three) is a disorder that can bring about character changes of the second child or middle child mainly as a result of dissimilar parenting style.

What are the warning signs of the second child syndrome?

If your second child exhibits some of these characteristics,  it can be an indication of  the second child syndrome

Jealousy towards the elder one:

Reason: Always subjecting to negative comparison with the elder one by parents or relatives. Comparison brings down their self-confidence and develops jealousy towards the elder sibling.

Lack of goal:

Reason: Because of the ignorance,  as their parents are more focused on the elder child, the second child may think that his efforts are not going to be recognized anyhow. This eventually makes him unambitious and aimless.

Less affectionate toward near ones

Reason: Staying indifference towards your affection doesn’t mean he has no affection towards you or doesn’t need your warmth. It is merely an action to develop guilty feelings in dear and near one. In fact, your child is more in need of your affection and support.

Always throw tantrums:

Reason: Throwing tantrums are nothing but your child’s way of seeking your attention.

Negative attitude:

Reason: Suppressed or covered up anger and complaints appears as a negative attitude in the second child.

How to deal with the second child syndrome?

Right parenting is the mantra that helps to bring down the chances of the second child syndrome. Here are some tips:

Treat the children equally

Always listen to your second child, even if it sounds silly

Appreciate your child for his little achievement.

Do all children born second go through this phase?

Not all the children go through the ill effects of the second child syndrome. Listed below are children who are less likely to experience the second child syndrome:

In which family all the children are treated alike, the second child syndrome less likely happens

If the second child born with some disorder, he or she will draw more family attention and hence the chances of the second child syndrome is very low.

If the sex of the first and second child differs, the behaviour, action and the nature of the second child will be the first experience of the family. This attention brings down the chance of the second child syndrome.

What are the advantages of being the second child?

Despite the chances of being susceptible to the second child syndrome, there are also many benefits of being the second child. The main benefits are:

Independent child:

Reason: As the parents track the second child less as compared to the first, they become more independent.  

Calm child:

Reason:  First-time parents are exceptionally fussy and overprotective and they usually say a lot of”no’s”. However, during the second time, parents will be more relaxed. As not brought up in between a great deal of rules and restrictions, the second child will be calmer than the first child.

Adapt faster to the situation:

Reason: Being independent build up his or her confidence and makes the second child more flexible and adapt to any given situation. 

Competitive child:

Reason: Always with an elder sibling to compare with, lots of action and plans to draw the attention of the grownups, the second child will be in a position to prove his or value constantly.  This will make him more competitive by nature.

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