My Husband- Before & After Kids

husbands as fathers- Parenting resources by Zenparent

When our daughter arrived, my husband smiled in a way that I had never seen him smile before. His round face lit up and nothing seemed to be able to wipe away his dimpled grin! Hey, I thought, “you never smiled at me this way”. You can’t blame me – I was a hormonal mess and there was no logic for anything I felt or believed back then.

Let me ‘introduce’ you to him so you will understand why the smiling was so unusual. He is the eldest of three siblings and had lost his parents when he was in college and became even more quiet and serious post that; taking on the responsibility of ‘parenting’ his younger siblings. He began to smoke excessively and his only outlet for fun would be the friends he grew up with. When I first saw him, what I actually ‘saw’ was a quiet person who would just sit and stare at me, without mustering the courage to talk. Despite this nature, he found a way to tug at my heart and we soon became lovers, then a married couple and then parents. He is not your typical romantic and that would irritate me, since I am a die-hard believer that romance must touch every aspect of a relationship. I had to tell him that a gift for Valentine’s was appropriate! He was awkward as a lover and refused to quit smoking or shave off that ‘bushy moustache’. Oh! Not to forget – the short and hot temper and his unpredictable nature – quite a lot to handle at times! 😛

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On the day of our marriage, some of his friends were behaving rambunctiously and I was getting rather uncomfortable but didn’t say anything. He must have detected it (and I swear I didn’t expect it) and walked up to them and from his expression, I could see that he let them have it. Very unexpected, but ‘Oh So Thoughtful’ and ‘Romantic’. That was really sweet! 🙂

After a few years, I was carrying our first and only child, our daughter. Every single day, he would prepare a hot glass of milk and sprinkle it with saffron and almonds – I have no idea where he learnt that from but it really felt very special. I really looked forward to the morning simply because of this. The other thing he began doing was holding my hand when we were out of home. He would be very careful about what I ate, my doctor’s appointments, iron supplements and would even call me several times during the day when we were at work. This was new and exciting and was the reason that my pregnancy was completely safe, happy and without any problems.

Then she was born and he smiled (as I mentioned) and even though she was crying the whole night, he patiently carried her in an attempt to pacify her. It was amazing to see how those big heavy hands held her- so fragile and beautiful. Guess what, he shaved off his moustache too because she would cry when he would kiss her or nuzzle her with his nose. Victory – she got him to do, what I could not! The smoking inside the home stopped too – he would smoke outside and not as often.

hubby as a dad- Parenting resources by Zenparent

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He went from being a lover to husband to father with relative ease – I didn’t expect it but it was a pleasant surprise. He did many thoughtful things for her and me. (still does) The one thing, though, that I would want him to change is to share more – he still is quite thoughtful and it’s hard to know what is going on inside that sweet head of his. For our daughter, he is the one she turns too when ‘mum is bothering her’ or when she knows that only he can comply with a wish. She has his dimpled smile and he is like clay before her – completely melts and easily manipulated! They have a special relationship that, not even mum and wife, can or should try to breach.

Click here to read what a mom wants to tell her husband…

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