Listen up ladies – lingerie can change your life

Listen up ladies – lingerie can change your life

Ladies – finally, I have information straight from the guys, your everyday guys to help your sex life along, if it’s stuck in a rut. And to spice things much more, even if it isn’t. Here’s the deal – lingerie matters. It doesn’t matter if your man swore on the Bhagawad Gita that he likes your Jockey sweats. Or the classic – it’s all gonna come off anyway!


Think about it. Why do men stare at those models on magazines and billboards – they aren’t naked. They’re wearing those perfect cupped bras, those teeny tiny undies that leave nothing to imagination – or maybe that all important little something. Another thing – embrace your curves. Not all of us are Adriana Limas or Priyanka Chopras. We have our flaws, our curves and our USPs and our partners are hardly with us just for our bodies. But lingerie – oh the lingerie, it adds infinite intrigue, it shows you care and most of all, it screams confidence. And the one thing most men can’t resist is a woman who can flaunt it.


It's no secret that many couples have bedtime rituals that help strengthen their bonds and their sex lives. Pillow talk and gentle caresses can pave the way for better communication and respect to develop in a relationship. Going to bed at the same time not only shows commitment to the partnership, but it also helps a couple sync up on a more intimate level.


It’s now time to step it up a notch by amping your boudoir wardrobe.  Think of bedtime as a "date" with your partner, and change your whole approach to sleepwear. Throw away the old, ratty sweats (or those threadbare nighties) and slip into something more sensual that shows your partner just how much you love cuddling under the covers together.


Being sexy isn't just about being a smouldering bedroom vixen ripped from the pages of a lingerie catalogue. It's more about sensuality and a healthy desire to connect on a physical level. Not every woman is a size XS ... or even a size XL. And that's okay. You don't have to be as fit as an athlete or as slender as a runway model to be attractive to your partner. Instead, you need to be comfortable and relaxed in your own skin (while also craving closeness to his). And one of the best tricks for accentuating your figure is to drape it the silkiest, most sensual sleepwear you can get your hands on.


Choose The Right Number (For You, Not Him!)


Rule #1: You needn’t run and buy something horribly uncomfortable (itchy lace or cup-spilling styles) to turn him on. Quite the contrary, in fact. Make sure that whatever sleepwear you choose isn't just silky, but makes you feel like Silk Smitha in it.


What does that mean? It means that the sleepwear isn't about him and what will turn him on. That's right: it's about you and what makes you feel silky and sexy, inside and out. Looking sexy in your lingerie has as much to do with your confidence — how you feel in your unmentionables — as it does with fit and style. If you feel great in a slinky nightie or a sheer bra and panties, he'll get turned on just looking at you in it. The confidence translates.


So dress for bedtime in something that relaxes you. Don’t pick things in which you have to hold your breath for a flat tummy – trust me, it gets tiresome. Pick natural, breathable materials, like silk and cotton; these will keep you warm in the winter and cool in the summer. Pick something soft — tactile pleasure is arousing. Your man will want to feel the slopes and curves of your figure lingering underneath that thin fabric. Not into nighties? Consider a teddy or a pair of boxers. If chemises, teddies, sexy nighties or any type of lingerie is not your thing, throw on one of his old, oversized work shirts — he'll love seeing you in his clothes. Tried and tested.


May the bedroom games begin!


You asked. We answered.


Hi Black Lace,


Help! The other night my husband and I were fooling around. Everything was good. He was on me and pounding for what felt like an eternity and he just.couldn’t.finish. I’m so upset. Should we see a urologist or something? I’m so worried.


Ms Nice guys finish last


Hi Ms Last,


May I just say, calm-the-down? The poor man couldn’t finish ONE time and you’ve got him seeing VD specialists and getting Viagra prescriptions. A lot of men might wanna be in your guys’ position and women in yours where the problem was ONCE. I say this in the nicest way – your language doesn’t suggest that any part of it was a lot of fun for you. I mean, pounding? Not finishing? None of it. How about engaging in a relaxed foreplay the next time? Something with some nice lingerie, perfumed candles and so on. A lot of men don’t like to be pressured to ‘cum’. So don’t ask and don’t consider it pounding. Consider different positions and be assured, your guy’s equipment is just fine. Relax and enjoy!


If you have sex/relationship questions, do write to me at Your queries will be treated and answered anonymously on the column. Have a sexy week ahead!