Keeping My Son Away From Eager Girls

mom takes care about shy son - ZenParent

He is basically a shy, reserved and a well behaved boy. But he is 16 and he can’t help but enjoy all the attention he tends to get from the opposite gender. All boys do, no matter what their mothers say and how they cover up for their sons. But what worries me is the sudden surge in the aggressiveness in the girls towards befriending and trying to get intimate with boys.

Blame it on the movies, television or commercials that glamourize sex and intimacy encouraging young women to go after what they want if it makes them happy, or broken dysfunctional families that lack the presence of an assuring elder who the youngsters can emotionally connect in a healthy way hence driving them to seek that emotional satisfaction from the opposite gender. Or is it that somewhere our sex education process has fallen short in simplifying for our kids how to relate to each other in a normal way?

Well, my dilemma is that I have had to put up with girls turning up at my door step to say ‘hi’ to my son, they buzzing around him in social gatherings and even trying to get friendlier to me on some pretext or the other as I am his mum. It’s like I’m being watched and assessed all the time! And I need not mention the blank calls we receive and the amount of activity that happens on social media networks. They make it so inviting and alluring for a boy to get pulled in that I wonder if he has a choice or whether he can do something about it or not. Moreover what am I supposed to do as a mother? I definitely don’t want my son to grow up as a Casanova who plays around with the emotions of girls just because they make themselves so easily available to him. I want him to respect women, treat them with dignity and cherish the lovely friendship he can share with them.

Since it is my problem it is obvious that I will have to deal with it and try to churn out a solution from my side, instead of waiting for a culture transformation.

And so I have been thinking on these lines..

Will that talk help? I somehow cannot deny saying that youngsters today are a little misguided, confused and carried away. Boys are maybe a little more than girls. And with the hormonal rush that suddenly opens all unexpected floodgates of feelings, it gets all the more difficult to rein them in for some sound advice. But I feel if I were to rope my husband in for this herculean task and get him to speak to my son it would be a big relief. Of course, boys do absorb a lot from their father’s behaviour towards women and that is the first lesson. But with the changing times and pressures a dad can do his bit by reminding his son a few responsibilities towards the women in terms of relating and maintaining a healthy bond. The dangers included.

mom preaching her son about his behavior -  ZenParent

Image Source

If the need be, then I can pitch in too and we both could talk as well as exemplify how things should be.

Being alert: Just because I have a son, I feel I should not be the mother who has the laidback stance. Flirting is normal but toying with human emotions is definitely not, and my son needs to know that. So I guess I will have to be a milder version of Sherlock Holmes and have that one eye on his activities. He won’t share or talk about it unless there is a problem but I will have to keep subtly inquiring, letting him know that he is being watched and not entirely free to do what his impulses coax him to.

The feminine connection: He probably shall hate me poking my nose, trying to be preachy about how a boy should behave, but maybe he will thank me secretly if I help him to decipher how a girl thinks and what she wants. He needs to know what women are all about and what they are made up of. Being more expressive of the two, sometimes women can send out wrong signals of physical intimacy, while all they are looking for is an emotional outlet or companionship.

Accountability: This has to be a lesson for life. Accountability for their choices, actions and the consequences that follow. It’s not only about their behaviour as adolescents but also as adult men. If I don’t let my son go through the harsh process of realising his wrong doing, he will start to  believe that he can get away with everything and it is always the other person’s fault. “She came on to me, she misunderstood… I didn’t do anything!”

Socially responsible behaviour is not gender biased, and is everyone’s business. This is how I’m going to do my bit.

 

 

 

 

loader