Is your Tween/Teen watching Porn?

child watching porn- Parenting resources by ZenParent

This is one situation no parent wants to be in! Even if someone does land in it, they only wish it were a nightmare and they would want to snap out of it as soon as possible. But the more one avoids to confront this issue, the more it stares at them blatantly in their faces and the best way to deal with this monster is to turn around and face it.

Here’s how:

1. Avoid Losing Your Calm-It is often said that anything ‘Well begun is half done’. If parents cross the first hurdle by maintaining their cool and calm on making this unpleasant discovery, they have solved half of the problem. A composed demeanor display by parents creates a non-threatening atmosphere between them and the child and this is conducive for further dialogue as well as sharing of problems.

2. Have a Frank Adult Conversation- Instead of bombarding the teenager with ‘why’ and ‘how dare you’, how about an open discussion about accepting this common age related curiosity and then talking in terms of its un appropriateness & unsafety. This puts the child at ease, evaporates the guilt factor and next time your teenager has a doubt he/she will ask you instead of turning to wrong and misleading sources.

3. Regulate instead of a Blanket Ban- The first instinct for most parents is to ban computers & internet at home. But does that help? Kids today have access to many alternative sources and no matter how hard parents try their child will find a way .So instead of total rigidity it is advisable to monitor on a regular basis what the child is watching or doing hence teaching him/her freedom with responsibility.

4. Treat Sexuality as a Way of Life– It is very natural for parents to squirm in their seats while viewing gender related commercials or when faced with any sex connected questions popped by kids. That is the way we all have been conditioned but hushing the query means adding more fire to the fuel of curiosity. The message that is required to be put across here is that sexuality is normal and there is nothing wrong with it. This is the healthy attitude that will eventually pass on to the child.

5. Do not hesitate to take Your Teenager to a Sex Counsellor –If only there were quick fixes, most of our problems would have vanished. The reality of this situation is that it usually does not get solved the first time. There are lapses and if parents feel that it is a recurring problem, then a third person with a different approach and perspective may be able to help. The person here could be a sex counsellor who with his/her vast experience and knowledge may be able to assist the child deal with the issue more effectively than parents.

Difficult as it may seem but a proper, calculated and thought over response to this problem is a better bet any day than an impulsive reaction. Parenting is a dynamic process and what worked years ago may just not work in today’s times. So parents, let’s adopt the Zen attitude and get rid of the box.

Image Source: Dollar Photo Club

 

 

 

 

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