Is Your Kid Too Aggressive??? Here’s What You Do About It.

One moment they are in a class, reciting songs or lessons in  rhythmic unison and the next moment they are down to blows & bashes on the playground, waiting to thrash their weaker counterpart. If you as a parent are thinking that this is common behaviour amongst all kids then you need to think again. Somewhere there has been a strong disconnect between the comprehension of value based education being taught in school and its actual application. And by side lining this behaviour in kids you are only fostering the seed of aggressiveness that will grow into a raging monster whose need to engulf everyone and everything will be insatiable.

Teaching love and kindness to kids should start early and here are some tips on how to go about it.

  • Kindness is not a lesson but a way of life- Just a moral science chapter in a school textbook is not enough. Reminders of kindness should be constant and we already know that they shouldn’t be direct or they’ll be rejected. How about putting up posters of quotes/pictures at home and in wardrobes. And not only near your kids but everywhere. It is important for your kid to know that this is a value everyone in the family has to learn and practice.
  • Exhibit kindness yourself- Your kid is watching you all the time and charity begins at home. You have to show kindness first and foremost to your kid (The others come later) Be a compassionate rather than an authoritarian parent all the time and you will groom your kid to be a kind and gentle person when he grows up. A recent survey showed that most kids who needed counselling for their violent and angry outbursts had one very aggressive elder at home.
  • Accept that your kid needs help- If your kid is anger prone and is unable to contain his anger; you need to help him immediately. You can begin by acknowledging his feelings and discontent. Believe me, that’s half of the problem solved. Then you both can navigate together the source of the anger and finally discuss constructive ways to vent it out. In short you have to take his outbursts in a serious manner and deal with it now! I have seen parents take pride when their kids shout at servants siblings or get into a brawl. They say ‘that’s how kids are nowadays and this is a part and parcel of growing’ and are sadly encouraging this negative behaviour in their kids.
  • Spend some quiet time with nature- I loved this in Valley School though it took a little slowing down on my part too to understand its purpose. They would take kids for a nature walk and this was not just an excursion they have in the regular schools where the teacher is more worried about kids walking in a straight line rather than observing anything. They would actually teach kids to look around, get in tune with their surrounding and learn to love it. It was on one of these nature walks that my kid learned not to pluck flowers, crush plants or harm animals unnecessarily.

Children in the garden

  • Streamline the violent movies and games- I know they don’t listen but would you still have the same helpless stance if they wanted to do drugs? This is slow poisoning too dear parents. It is time, the glorification of ‘dishum dishum’ stopped. Also the merciless killing that happens in video games. It’s a gory sight to watch trust me. And this is the result why 90% of the men consider it to be a shame if they are asked to watch a romantic or a movie with subtle nuances. They want action, thrill, shooting and aggressiveness because that is what most of them grew up idealising. The seeds are right there within them and nobody knows what trigger would get them germinating.

gI_114724_angry-child

Let’s teach a little more love, let’s encourage a little more kindness…

Tomorrow is ours and we have to build..

Let’s not squander our treasures in foolish blindness..

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