I’m a Mom. And I’m Not Cool about Sleepovers.

Published On  March 30, 2015 By
Right age for sleepovers for kids- Parenting resources by ZenParent

My daughter has not been speaking to me for the past 6 hours. She is glum and is giving me the cold shoulder. I know the reason. I told her she could not have a sleepover at a class mate’s house for a birthday party.  I got a call from the class mate’s mother and she was very polite and courteous. However I have never seen her and I don’t know anything about the family. Do they have an extended family? Do they have cousins visiting? Is there an older uncle who lives with them? I knew nothing. I am sorry, but as a mom who is bombarded with all kinds of abhorrent news every day, I just could not agree to a sleepover for my 12 year old with people I don’t know at all.

Sleepovers are increasingly commonImage Source: Flickr under creative common licence

Sleepovers are the latest addition to the list of battles that we need to fight with our kids this generation. This was not so common when we grew up. Sure, we visited cousins but sleeping over at a friend’s place was fairly unheard off. But now, kids start wanting sleepovers right in primary school. Parents are caught between feeling paranoid and wanting to please their kids for such a seemingly simple request.  Caught between the rock and a hard place!

Sleepovers for kids are getting increasingly commonImage Source: Flickr under creative common licence

Statistics show that 90% of kids molested are by the people who know them. By a friend’s father/brother, relatives, cousins etc.  My daughter threw such a fit that ALL HER FRIENDS were staying over and she would be the only pariah who was not staying the night.  I told my daughter, she could go to the party, but that we were picking her up at 10 pm.  As my husband was getting ready to pick her up, the hostess sweetly whatsapped me the pictures of the girls having so much fun.  “Are you sure you want to pick her up?” she asked me.  I showed this to my husband and he also wondered if I was being unnecessarily stubborn. “There are 7 other girls in this slumber party- what is your problem?”, he asked. “Do you know who else lives there? Do you know if it will be safe for her to get a drink of water in the middle of the night if she gets thirsty? What if she wanted to use the toilet?” – I rattled off. My husband backed off realizing this is not a battle he was going to win.

As parents we have to make hard decisions. Decisions which may not get us the “cool parent” title. We could be hated and be on the receiving end of murderous looks and major sulking sessions. But hey, what good is having a principle, if you cannot stick to it when the going gets tough? I am proud of myself for sticking to my guns. My husband went and picked her up. When it comes to my children’s safety, I would pick “paranoid and safe” any day over…. the unthinkable alternative.  Today, she might hate me, but tomorrow when she has a child, hopefully she would understand.