If you want to stay young and live long, don’t reduce sex after motherhood

Haha yes! As if you needed any more validation for sex, right? But I’m not kidding, ladies. The problem is that once you become a mommy, all you want to do is kuchikoo with your baby. And all the sleeplessness and hormonal changes are bound to reduce your libido. Nights on which your baby actually falls asleep are precious – you want to catch up on a little of your own shut eye. But what about once your baby is slightly older and sleeping through the night? No reason to put it off then, no?

Except you just don’t want it like you used to. Technically, your thirties should be your horniest years. Yep, Albert Kinsey, a researcher, thought this was because a woman became more comfortable with her body and understood her sexual needs better by then. She could tell her partner exactly what she wanted in bed, could climax more. Not the same for a man, whose testosterone levels begin dropping post 30. So, your sex drive should now be higher than your husband’s. Why isn’t it, then?

Most likely answer: breastfeeding. Ask your OB/GYN, if you like, and she’ll tell you that it’s perfectly normal for you to not want sex. Culprits? Prolactin and estrogen. Prolactin, responsible for producing breastmilk, suppresses your ovulation and all the other hormones responsible for your period. That includes your sex drive. Estrogen, which is what keeps your moist down there, drops right after you give birth. So even if you want to have sex, it’ll be painful because you’re so dry.

Then should you stop breastfeeding just so you can have sex? No, but it’s time to start experimenting with lube. Because, ladies, having sex is important for you in more ways than one. Really – it has many, many health benefits. Don’t worry, I’m not playing some kind of joke on you. If you like, I’ll list them out, so you can make up your own minds about them:

1. Keeps you young:

Okay, you might not really think of this as a health benefit, but it is! Dr David Weeks, a clinical neuropsychologist, conducted a 10-year-long study, in which he realised that older men and women who had sex regularly could look upto seven years younger than they actually were. Condition: you need to have ‘loving’ sex, not mechanical, even if you don’t have it as often as you like. How does this work? DHEA, the anti-ageing hormone, is present at five times the normal amount after an orgasm. So say goodbye to Olay and every other anti-ageing cream you’ve ever used.

2. Fights infection:

Just have sex more than once a week and you won’t need antibiotics as often as you used to. Because your immunoglobulin A levels will be 30 percent more than if you don’t. Keeps colds and flus well away from you.

3. Reduces period cramps:

Why, oh why did we ever need to be born with ovaries and a uterus? It’s because of these that our moods rocket from one end of the world to the other three days a month. It’s because of these that we become immobile with stomach, back, body cramps. How to bring it down? You know the answer: have lots of good lie ins with your husband. Perhaps your orgasms during sex release muscle tension around the uterus, so you won’t feel as much pain there.

4. Less chance of incontinence:

Ever noticed that your control over your bladder’s gone down since you had your baby? Yeah, pregnancy does that. Normally, doctors would recommend Kegel exercises to help you regain control. Sex does just as well – the muscles controlling orgasms are the same ones that stop you peeing before you lower your salwar.

5. Keeps away heart attack:

You’d think you were more likely to suffer from a cardiac arrest when you’re in the frenzy of sex. Turns out not. Sex more than three times a week and orgasms twice a week reduce your chances of both strokes and heart attacks by 30-50 percent.

6. Makes you and husband more fertile:

This if you’re trying for another child. Sex regulates your hormones and normalises your cycle, so your chances of conception are much higher. For the husband, the more he cums, the greater his sperm count, did you know?

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