I love kids, but don’t have any of my own

why woman's choice is not to have children - ZenParent

A lot of people were amused when I told them I was going to write for ZenParent. Bewildered some of them asked me,  “Uh, okay, and how are you going to do that? Err… don’t you need to have kids to be able to write for a parenting website?” Some others remarked, “What do you know about parenting? You don’t even have any children!”

Well, yes, I don’t have children and no, you don’t need to be a parent to write about parenting.

Confused? Welcome to my world.

My husband and I are the free spirits of the couple world for now (Or at least that’s what we want to be). Both of us have careers that provide a steady income to lead a comfortable life. We have the liberty to make an impromptu vacation plan and be able to afford that more than once a year, live in a house that is spick and span, have a vast social circle to hang out with on the weekends and the luxury to wake up at 12 pm on Sundays. No pets, no plants and No children. It’s perfect. Yes it is and we love it!

On the other hand, our vast social circle has multiplied (quite literally), thus, making us proud Aunt and Uncle to precious little children. We have seen those couples change into parents and we’re extremely happy for them. Parenthood is liberating, the joy is unmeasurable I’m told. I believe it is; what can be more fulfilling than looking at someone that is a part of you walking around, saying and doing adorable things? I love these kids and what I love even more is spending time with them (the little that I’m able to). Their charm, innocence, and gullibility are what draw me to them. One afternoon, I had a bunch of friends over and I was walking to the kitchen to make some tea for all of them. Right then my friend’s two-year-old boy came running behind me and asked me “Aunty Steff, do you need help?” That sure was an “Aww” moment for me. There have been many such moments with these adorable babies around. My best friend who lives in the States gave birth to a baby boy last month and ever since, upon my request, there have been a lot of pictures and videos of the little fella being exchanged over Whatsapp. I watch all of them repeatedly with great fondness. Looking at these children and the selfless love that their parents shower on them makes me want to have babies too.

However, as non-parents we do see the flip side. The numerous sacrifices these couples make every single day without complaining and the amount of planning that goes into the smallest of small things like travelling, attending a function or for that matter even dining out (in terms of logistics and time) make me reconsider my earlier excitement. Not to mention the unending sleepless nights they go through when their children fall ill. I’m extremely proud of them, because, I know I am unable to do so right now. I don’t have the patience neither the urge. Apart from being ready physically one must also have the mental and psychological strength to be a parent. A friend of mine constantly tells me that you are never going to be ready and that’s why you must just take the plunge. Frankly, I don’t know how that works, although deep within I know it’s true and that is the logic we live by; applying it to 90% of the things we do in life. Be it marriage, a new job or life insurance!

However, sometimes you need to be absolutely sure of certain things and having kids is one of them. Being responsible for another person’s life is tough and it gets tougher when you aren’t ready.

So am I ready yet? No!

 

 

loader