Do You Land Up Being A Referee Between Your Husband And Kids?

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There are football matches, cricket matches and then, there are matches at home! The difference, however, is that the matches in the stadiums are done in a day but the ones at home have a season and if not intervened, the season may go on for a year. The match I am referring to here is the difference of opinion between your husband and kids. I’m sure most of you would have faced this! I have and would have still been there until I decided to do something about it.

I had been noticing the trend for some time that whenever we had to do something together as a family, it never proceeded smoothly. Whether it was choosing a venue for lunch /dinner, spending a day out, dress-code for kids and also the type of music in the car. And given my negotiating nature, I always landed up being the referee between my husband and kids. I would either ask my kids to be obedient or reason out with my husband that times were changing but my son’s dishevelled look would still be an issue and the thumping rock music was still a source of his headache. And by the time peace was restored, I needed a pain killer with some jaw massage, if that existed.

“This could not go forever”; this thought kept echoing in my head as I was always at the losing end with my wants not getting a chance to raise their heads and so, one day, I refused to do what I had been doing. I stubbornly declined joining my family for dinner and when they all finally realised that the matter was serious and were all ears; I pitched in the terms.

1. We would take turns to choose venues for lunch/dinners so that each one would be heard and enjoy their meal.

2. A decent dress code was to be followed by kids when out with the family. While they could mutually agree with what kind of clothes would suit an occasion with the family, the hair had to have the non-Hagrid look. They could satisfy their need to be trendy when they stepped out with friends.

3. We all were to sit one day and create common bank of music that was agreeable to all and that would play in the car. Personal preferences would be considered on birthdays or then the headsets could be used.

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4. Kids would be required to attend 7 out of 10 social gatherings with relatives. The other 3 times they could bail out.

5. Menu for meals at home would be decided every Saturday night with inputs from everyone and no tantrums would be tolerated at the dining table.

6. Respect was essential for each member of the family, young or old.

7. We were to enlist the morals and values we would collectively follow as rules within the family.

Well, these seemed to take care of the conflicts most of the times between the two parties but when there were lapses; I had learned my lesson. All I had to do was get up, leave the battle ground and wait for the white flag to come up. 🙂

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