Dear New Generation Mom, You are Doing it Right!

Very often I get a feeling that moms of my generation are stereotyped as people who don’t really know how to look after their children and are more focused on things other than their family. I was exposed to this kind of thinking for the first time when I went for my ninth-month pregnancy check up. My gynecologist was in discussion with a co-doctor “What do women do these days, they just sit and watch TV all day long and still never get tired of it”. I was so shocked to hear that, especially because I was managing home as well as office work till a week before I delivered our baby. I know there are so many women out there who manage household chores, office work and raise their kids. Indeed they are the new age super moms. Then why do certain people paint such an unflattering picture of new generation moms?

This really got me thinking and I came up with thoughts that reassured me that we are indeed doing a great job.

Nuclear families = Multi tasking: Earlier generations lived mostly in joint families and there were many people in the house such that work got divided among them. We belong to the generation of nuclear families, are bound to more responsibilities and generally have to balance home, job and kids, all by ourselves. Indeed most of us have maids to do the cleaning, but then that gives us a little more space to concentrate on other responsibilities.

Access to information: We have easy access to the Internet, to information, and hence we really don’t have to depend on people for advice. Parenting websites are my bible to bringing up our son and whenever someone  tries to correct me, I always have a scientific explanation to why we are doing something a certain way.

We make them independent: What I learnt after becoming a mom is that freaking out over the smallest things only make things worse. The mommy instinct has always worked for me. I believe that to an extent, leave your baby to explore things on his own, they too need their “me-time”. By doing so, we are only encouraging them to learn and explore. I feel nuclear families bring up more independent kids as we try not to fuss them for every single thing, we give them their space (at times so that we will get that break too :)).

Change is mutual: Our kids change a lot of our behavior just as we influence theirs. A little one has all eyes and ears on his papa and mama and imbibes habits and characters by watching us. We automatically become more careful with our words and consciously discard unhealthy behavior just so they don’t learn it from us. This in a way makes us better people and lets our children learn things on their own without imposition from us.

You will often have to listen to things like “he is not going to sit on his booster chair after he’s one!”, “why do you want to keep him restricted in a car seat?”, “poor baby is made to sleep in his bed alone” among countless others. In those situations, just pat yourself on your back and tell yourself that you are doing a good job. I’m sure you little ones will prove you right at every stage of their life.

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