Dear men, don’t you dare say these to your wife while she’s in labour!

Giving birth to a baby can be one of the most beautiful things in the world, but that definitely does not come easy. Labour is a lot of hard work, mental and physical exhaustion. And the only thing every woman needs at this time is a strong support system.

And unfortunately, there are some epic stories associated with every labour, especially with regard to what the partner said. So, dear men, remember that all it takes is just one wrong move to get one hell of an ear bashing.

1.    You’ll be fine, don’t worry

Like really? If you love your wife too much, then you definitely need to ensure never to spurt these words your of your mouth, while she’s in labour. This might be a classic line people use, but that definitely is not going to comfort the lady who is doing all the hard work. So, just be as concerned as your wife and show her that you really know what it is like.

2.    Are you sure you are in labour?

If your wife is saying she is in labour, take her seriously. Whether she really is or not will be determined by the doctor. You don’t get to take the decision. So, the minute she says she’s in labour, get on your toes and do whatever the HELL she tells you to do.

3.    Don’t worry so much. It will be easier around the second time

Yes this definitely is true. You have survived it once and now you know how to keep things together. But, hey, you dare not say this when she’s getting a tear down there, simply because you have *no idea* what that means or how it hurts. And the pain is the same, even if is the second, third or the fourth time. 

4.    Should I pack clothes for me too?

Like, really, who cares? Trust us your wife is least bothered if her clothes are packed right. Why will she even remotely think about you? Simply don’t ask this, else be prepared for divorce!

5.    Do you think we’ll be done here in an hour?

Firstly she is not a doctor and even she is one, she definitely will not be able to answer this one. Secondly, she whole heartedly wishes she knew this too, simply because she can be mentally prepared. Thirdly, you are simply signing her you have better things to do. So, now choose if you *really* want to ask her this!

6.    I’m exhausted

Don’t you dare! You will know why once you witness her pushing the three and a half kilogram human out of that tiny tunnel!

7.    You look exhausted

Really? Oh, thank you so much! Like women in labour care about how they look. If only there were mirrors in the labour room. Strange that!

8.    You’re hurting my hand!

Yes, that definitely is the idea dear men. And if your hands or whatever is hurting, think of a different body part your wife can claw into. Well, she can already think of one part she definitely does not mind sharing the pain with.

9.    Omg, Gross!

Yes, the vagina looks huge, during birth. Huge enough to fit in the baby’s head! But hey, we thought fathers stand at the legs to witness the miraculous moment. But of you want to criticise your wife’s parts or explain the anatomy, stay away!

10.    Ewww, you just pooped!

Do you know the nurses and the doctors don’t even react when this happens? In fact, they just brush it aside like they didn’t even notice. Your job is done, the minute you say this. And be prepared for some *real* war once your wife is out of labour.  

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