Common Stories parents make up in front of their kids

Psychologists say it’s wrong, and yet we do it all the time. But how else to bail ourselves out of sticky situations and awkward moments? I have told myself a hundred times that this is the last time but that again was a hundred times ago.

I tried to recollect some of the stories I have been telling my kids, or at least tried to.

  • “Dad and I were just wrestling!’’ – When my kid caught us in the act with me on top of him.
  • ’Babies are sent from heaven to parents when they get married ’’– when asked how babies are made.
  • ‘’They cut open mummy’s tummy to bring you out’’– Where did I come from?
  • ‘’Mummy hurt herself and so she was bleeding’’– When my son spotted that I had a period.
  • ‘’The waterpark is closed today as there was mishap and now they have to repair. Don’t know when they will open’’– When I don’t want to spend a fortune on the waterpark entry fees and take my kids there.
  • ‘’If you don’t sleep, the monster will enter from the window and take you through the wall to a scary place where all naughty children are kept’’– When all your kid needs is one fearful trigger to fall into  sweet slumber.
  • “The crow was very hungry so he came and ate your chocolate when he saw it lying on the chair.’’– When I have tried everything else that won’t work to discourage my kid for giving up on the chocolate when he’s coughing.
  • ‘’Your sister is just healthier and chubbier than you. If you eat well then you will also become like her,’’– When your son is curious about the growing differences in the breast portion of his and his sister’s body.
  • ‘’It is only one small injection and it won’t hurt you at all. It will just like a little ant bite.’’– At the doctor when my kid refuses to pull down his pants for the shot.
  • ‘’This medicine is not bitter at all and if you won’t take it, you will need a shot tomorrow!’’-During the endless struggle of convincing my kid to take his syrup and pills.
  • ‘’Oh wow! This painting is exceptional. You are such a talented artist! / You were fantastic on the stage.’’– I do this when my kid has only scribbled in his drawing book or has stood in one corner of the stage as a stationary tree but is looking up to me for some positive reinforcement.
  • ‘’Er, I don’t know where your box is. Maybe the maid has thrown it or shoved it some corner.’’– When I have cleaned up the room and disposed of half his stuff and realised I threw away something he really wanted.
  • ‘’My phone battery is low and it can switch off any moment and I am waiting for an important call.’’– When he wants to play games on my phone but I want to chat on Whatsapp;).
  • ‘’I love you both equally.’’– When asked who is my favourite?
  • ‘’ Mummy is not well today. She needs a lot of rest or she may even faint!’’– When I don’t want to cook or go out to play with him.

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