Are you afraid of your little tyke

Are you constantly having a power struggle with your child? And more importantly, are you constantly at the losing end? Falling prey to your child’s cunning wiles and emotional tantrums? Do you want to fix it? You better. Because this kind of behavior is harmful not just for you, but for the kids themselves. It can make it difficult for them to adjust in adverse situations because they grow feeling entitled to every favorable situation. And believe it or not, we as parents are responsible for this attitude of theirs. If you compare the parenting styles of our childhood and this era, you will find that our parents were more effective at instilling discipline in us than we are now. Among many factors, the one main factor that comes across is time.

Our parents took the time to spend with us, be it punishing us, talking to us, watching tv, chatting. You think about the last time you had a whole-hearted light chat with your child. Any come to your mind? If yes, bravo. If no, then no better time to start than now. Now I’m not saying that that style of parenting is completely applicable to us. Of course, times have changed, the society has changed. Accepted. But do consider this. There must have been something special about the way our parents brought us up, that we think back fondly to those times. Right? Maybe it’s time we took inspiration from them. I have a few suggestions.

Maybe we could try these:

1. Be human.

Yeah, I’m with Salman Khan here. But not in the way he means. What I mean here is, don’t try to over commit to your children. I know you want to be as transparent to them as possible by fulfilling every promise you make to them. If you want to do so, then keep your promises realistic. Do not try to be Super Mom and Super Dad. No matter how tempting it is to hear your kid say that. But be kind to yourself and your child and quit that thought right there.

2. Keep your foot down.

Take a lesson from your kid you are struggling with and be persistent in your point. Of course, do your homework before you clash with your child, so that you have a well-informed opinion to make. It also teaches your child to be well informed before getting into a debate. Be firm.


3. Don’t be afraid.

This is applicable on many levels. Don’t be afraid of the screaming and the tantrums you face. Don’t be afraid to say no means no. Don’t be afraid to make a mistake and admit to your child that you made a mistake. They may make fun of you, but then they respect you for sharing this weak spot with you. They learn to respect you as a human being, which in my opinion, much better than being placed on a pedestal. Now these may seem like difficult or challenging steps to follow. Well, yes, they are. Nothing is easy in parenting. After all, you are dealing with another human being, who is as complex as you are. (Who said children are simple?) What you need is perserverance and patience. Of course you will face opposition. But as I said, don’t be afraid to face the hell they raise to put your point across. Don’t make it an ego battle, but don’t relent just because they are shouting. It sends across the wrong message. To some it may seem like these are bookish methods to remove the sense of entitlement from children, but let me tell you that I am a parent of a 6 year old and a 1 year old. So far, my stand has worked with my 6 year old. Of course, I make mistakes or sometimes my timing sucks. But as they say, parenting is a journey of trial and errors. Parvarish to seekhte seekhte aati hai.