Aditya Tiwari – single parent – multiple victories!

The moment baby Binney held his little finger and looked into his eyes, Aditya Tiwari’s heart softly slid out of its logical socket and attached itself to the scrawny baby lying on a dusty orphanage bed in Bhopal.

Abandoned by parents the day he was born, Binney was left at the Missionaries of Charity orphanage in Indore. By some stroke of luck, Aditya Tiwari happened to visit the place to distribute sweets on the day of his father’s birthday. He noticed one baby lying far away in a cot; nobody seemed to give any attention to.

“I was told that he has a hole in his heart and has Down ’s syndrome. When I picked his hand up he held my finger firmly and almost didn’t let go,” Aditya recalls fondly.

A month later he noticed many children missing from the group because they had all been adopted. But nobody wanted Binney. Not his parents. Not the childless couple who entered the auspices of orphanages crying for babies. Not even the charitable trust.

That was the day Aditya looked at Binney in a whole new light and decided to adopt him. The little dancing eyes seemed to tell him that he wouldn’t regret making this decision. How right they were, Aditya was to learn in times to come.

Two years later Binney officially became Avnish Tiwari.

The thought that changed the system: Fighting the good fight

In the intervening two years, Aditya was set to learn things about our legal system he never knew existed. The loopholes in the law through which innocent children fall through the crack and land up head first in the alleys of dark trade, he was set to discover.

Aditya decided to fight for what was right.... not what was easy.

This one act of deep humanitarian love set into motion an avalanche of emotions that resulted in saving a child with Down’s Syndrome, exposing the child trafficking racket in Bhopal, banning of adoption rights to an orphanage, changing the laws in our country and paving the way for single parents across the country to adopt without being harassed! In passing - it also changed this dad’s life indelibly.

For all the monumental changes he has wrought in the system, Aditya is surprisingly unassuming.

•  “Why I am here and who I am is because of my 3-year-old Avnish, says 29-year-old single parent Aditya Tiwari softly. Although Aditya married 7 months after he adopted Avnish, the official records still show him as a single parent and that’s exactly how the gutsy dad likes it too!

Illegal racket and meeting the biological parents

Aditya unearthed the fact that the orphanage where Binney was admitted was running a racket. Of the 45 children there, 38 were not recorded in the register at all! These babies were later trafficked right under the noses of the law. “Even Binney was taken from Bhopal to Indore for what they called treatment, but I was very scared for this child.” By now Aditya had spoken to a dozen experts and had tracked and spoken to the biological parents of Binney.

“They are well-off and even well-educated. Yet they gave him up for adoption simply because he has the Down’s syndrome,” he says with thinly veiled disgust. This callous attitude towards a young infant they had carried for nine months and not given a feather’s chance to be loved is what finally made Aditya decide to adopt Binney.

It was a long and arduous battle that finally resulted changing the legal system. The legal age of adoption was reduced from 30 to 25 for single parents.

Life before Avnish

Before the young sunshine entered his life, Aditya was a typical software engineer. His routine was to spend time with friends at coffee shops on the weekends while slogging on workdays.   

“I worked from 9-5 and my ambitions were to earn more money and go offsite if possible and marry a girl when the time is right,” chuckles Aditya. Today he is all set to break the societal stereotypes to bring in more awareness towards single parenting and affect the laws surrounding it.

While Aditya married Arpita in mid-July of 2016, 7 months after he legally adopted Avnish, he still calls himself a single parent.

“That’s because I am. The court order says that I am a single parent and that’s what I’ll be,” he says with pride.

4 rules of parenting Aditya follows having learned from his parents:

1. You should accept the child

This is cardinal. Whether it is a girl or a boy, fair or dark or whatever – unconditional accepting will work wonders for the child and the parent.

2. Your own ambitions must never be projected on the child

The child is not here to fulfil your own aspirations but its own dreams. I am strictly against parenting that asks a child to become somebody just to satisfy its parents.

3. Your satisfaction with what you have will define your parenting

Comparing the child to another is not productive. I always assume that whatever my child has done has been done to the best of his ability. This

4. The bond you share will go a long way in cementing your child’s love. So make time to bond by talking and doing things together.

I always share what’s on my mind with my child. Whether it is tensions at office or financial problems I always talk frankly to my child. Sometimes my baby responds and says “Achha, papa” and that feels nice.

Where is the mother’s name?

Until a few weeks back he was struggling with getting the passport for his son. The papers were stuck for weeks because the “mother’s name was not there.” Finally when nothing worked despite having all the right papers, he tweeted External Affairs Minister and Supreme Court lawyer Sushma Swaraj who came through like a blessing. Within days the passport was despatched!

Final Tally: Aditya -2 - System- 0. To us, this seems like the dad who will go to any ends of the earth to get what his child rightfully deserves. A dad who doesn’t take no for an answer? Yes, please! Give us some more!

There are no perfect parents, only real ones.
Anmol Tum : Real parents’ journeys from all walks of life, Brought to you by Teddyy’s Diapers. Made for Indian Moms

Feature Image Source: Indiatimes