6 Ways to Keep the Romance alive in your marriage after kids

6 practical ways to keep romance back after having kids - ZenParent

Has the entry of children sapped all the romance in your marriage? Have you become too tired to entertain any ideas of romance? Is your marriage getting a little jaded and boring? Well, try these things to bring back some spark into it!

  1. The Power of touch: It is as if some of us lose the power of touch after we have kids. Too much of dealing with an infant can make you feel all “touched out”. But as you and your husband move around the house, put your arm around him or gave him a quick hug as you pass him to another room- small displays of physical affection are important- It is good for even your kids to see their parents displaying affection for each other- they feel secure.
  2. Use the Grandparents: Once a month (at least if not once a week) use the services of grandparents to babysit and take off for a dinner or a movie just by yourselves. If you live in a location far from relatives, set up a babysitting co-op with your friends and take turns babysitting each other’s kids and gave the adults a break!
  3. Invest in Lingerie: Somewhere after becoming mothers, we swap comfort over looking good when it comes to home wear. But invest in some sexy lingerie. Nothing brings the mood back like feeling good in some fun lingerie!
  4. Look Out: Look out for the small ways to appreciate your husband. Feeling good is the first step towards intimacy. Sometimes we slip into the mode of taking the spouse for granted. Just give him a peck on the cheek or a hug and tell him how you appreciated him taking the kid for a stroll or helped your child with homework or whatever it maybe- take a moment to tell him that with a physical gesture. If you are a guy reading this, tell your wife she looks pretty and tell her how much you appreciate what she is doing for your family.
  5. Sexting: A lot of couples today in the digital world use texting to keep the romance alive. Why should it be only for the single people! Flirt with your spouse on WhatsApp when he/she is at work or even sitting next to the mother in law- it would add such a kick and put you in the mood!
  6. Keep that date! We get to a point where we think it is ridiculous to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries or valentine’s day. Instead of rolling your eyes, take it as an opportunity to think about what your spouse would really like. Cook/Order your spouse’s favourite food. Buy them an outfit- or if you are scared to go down that lane (haha), bring home a single rose (for the wife) or a cake in their favourite flavour (for the husband)- Sounds cheesy? Disregard that inner voice- your spouse will appreciate your effort. Sometimes spouses can also be dense. If your spouse is dense, TELL THEM what you want. Don’t chew on it and work yourself up into a frenzy “They SHOULD know without me saying it !!”. Just keep it simple- I want this.” I would like you to do this for me”.

Romance in a seasoned marriage is not about anything dramatic- it is not a grand gesture. It is about the simple little things that add up to keeping the spark alive – and being aware of it makes the difference between action and apathy.

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