6 ways for moms to be a role model for your sons

“Why are you walking around with a broom, are you a girl?”

Ughhhhh!!!

How many times have you heard this? How many times has a misogynistic statement like this made you grind your teeth just to bite back that not so pleasant retort? How many times have you felt weighed down by the humongous task of bringing up your child without such prejudices?

If you are a mother like me, possibly a million times!

As a mother of 2 sons today I realise the duty to build a society where women stand as fair a chance as men is not easy, to say the least. Family and friends may not really be all that helpful as most of them would be programmed to think and say things like “Don’t cry, are you a girl? You are a man, you must be brave?” Which is fine right?

Well actually, NO!

Thus the change you so want to see in this world must begin with you. Here is how you can mould your son to break the shackles of patriarchy and prejudices in our society!

1. Be an awesome woman!

You are the first female your son has known and in all probability the female with whom he will spend most of his growing years. Make an awesome impression on that little mind; he needs to know it is awesome to be a woman! It doesn’t make a difference if you are a career woman trying to juggle family or a housewife working at keeping a smile on every face at home. Be yourself and proud of it!

2. Work allotments!

Ensuring a happy home is not easy and involves a lot of work! It is not your responsibility to do it all. Split the work at home between yourself and daddy dear with simple tasks for the kids too. Your son needs to know how much effort is needed to make a happy loving family and that a lot of that effort must come from him too. Make lists, stick to it! You can always shuffle it up for some fun and humour.

3. Do the “Man’s job”!

Drilling a nail in the wall! Fixing the leaking tap! Killing that flying cockroach! All stereotypically a Man’s job! Well you know what it’s time we made a few changes there. Hammer in that nail home. Screw that nut a little tighter. Swat that cockroach with all your might. Because if a man can, so can a woman! The only way your little man is going to know that is when he sees you do that. So put up a terrific show!

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4. Share the “Woman’s job”!

Sweeping the floor! Clearing the dishes! Making tea! A woman’s job or survival skills? You want your son to be self dependant as he grows older and what better way to get there than beginning young. Let him help with clearing the dishes. One day a week, have tea made by him. He will learn that jobs are gender dependant. One must do what one has to do!

5. Watch what you say!

Kids don’t do what they are told, they do what they see! True! But don’t be callous with your statements around them ever! Those little stray statements of crying being for women or staying at home to tend for the family must be consciously not thrown into the conversations. The pressure of having to be brave just because you are a boy (yes all of 3 years) or to not have hobbies such as crafts should not burden those little shoulders. Take care of what you say, because that is what he will say in a few years.

6. Never say Never!

Never let your son believe he can never be something he truly, passionately wants! Encourage his dreams, nurture his passions. Bake with him if he wants to be a chef; Dance with him if he wants to; Sweat it out with him if he wants to play ball! Let him charter his own course, all the while knowing that come what may if he truly wants something and is willing to strive for it, it is his to have; and that through it all his mum will have his back!

Be that absolute awesome role model to your son, because we have begun nurturing strong independent women but confident and broad minded men? Eh, not so much!

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