6 things you should not tell your Son

love your son- Parenting resources by ZenParent

Girls are usually more sensitive than boys when it comes to being able to handle criticism or comments. However, boys can also be adversely affected by our thoughtless comments, which we may think is innocuous. Sometimes, they may put on a brave face but cringe on the inside at your words. Here are a few phrases that you should avoid with your son!

1. Be a man! : I hear this lot from my own dad with my 8 year old if he acts… like an 8 year old! Be a Man! What is that supposed to mean? We almost use it synonymously to mean, all the ‘macho’ characteristics that our child needs to exhibit! It is also a sexist comment that indicates that women cannot be tough. Avoid falling into these word traps.

2. Boys don’t cry : This saying is from the previous century. Men are expected not to show their emotions in public. If our child is exhibiting emotions, don’t shame him into bottling up those feelings inside. Let him be comfortable with his feelings and emotions. Bottling up emotions on the inside can lead to acts of desperation.

3. How can you not like Sports! : You might be a sports aficionado, but if your son is not into it, it is not as crazy as you imagine it to be. Find out what he really likes and see if you can be a part of it. That will really help you bond with him instead of alienating him with your words.

mom and son love- Parenting resources by ZenParent

4. Why can’t you be like your sister : Girls tend to mature faster than boys. So do not compare your son with your daughter. Comparison of any sort alienates siblings from each other as they feel they have to compete for their parents’ love.

5. You embarrass me : This is a strong phrase. It is every child’s nightmare to be an embarrassment to his parents. Your child could feel that he has lost your love when you use this phrase. No matter what your child has done, do not say this to him. It will crush his spirit and make him feel lonely and abandoned.

6. You should have been born a girl : Do you use this with your son because he prefers to stay indoors, is particular about the way he dresses or tends to show his emotions or displays any other trait which you think only girls ‘should’ exhibit? In today’s world gender stereotypes are fast dissolving and borders and boundaries of what each sex can and cannot do are blurring. Stay away from words which have no objective except to hurt another person.

Many times, as a parent, I have realized that the words that come out of my mouth are usually what my parents have said to me. But times have changed and we need to change along with it if we want to ensure that we have a good relationship with our children.

 If you have a daughter, never say these things to her!

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