5 winter sex positions to warm you up, nice and good

Gad-gad-gad-gad-gad-gad-gad! What’s that, ladies? Do I hear your teeth chattering? I know. This is the one time of year you won’t mind standing in front of the stove and cooking as long as your kids are satisfied. But that’s not the point, is it? You came here because you’re hot for cold sex. Then let’s cut to the chase. What’s my list based on? One or more of these three things:

  1. Being able to just lower your trousers whenever you like it, so that you won’t have to take your clothes off all the way and get cold,

  2. Morning sex that won’t involve giving up the sheet because – well – cold’s the biggest turnoff ever and

  3. Hot positions to make you move a lot more than you would’ve otherwise, warming you up nicely.

Let’s begin with laziest and easiest:

1. Modified missionary:

11.Coital

Oh yes. You already know three-quarters of this. Just when you’ve got into bed and snuggled under the sheets (without clothes, this), lie back with him on top and wrap your legs around him. The goosebumps on your belly will have nothing to do with the cold.

2. Horizontal doggy:

9. Bustle

So, you know how it goes. You lie stomach-down on a flat surface. Expose the only point of contact that really matters here – pull down your pants only till your knees. Put a pillow under your hips to make it easier. Let him do all the moving; you enjoy the orgasm.

3. Inverted hip-thrust:

10.xSpot

Yeah, pants-till-knee happens here too, but your man will have to stand. Don’t worry, there’s still no movement for you. Lie back, raise your legs straight up and rest them against your partner’s belly and chest. Hold him around the hips so you can help him move!

4. Riding in the wind:

12.WomanTop

Imagine you’re galloping a horse, really hard. You’re leaning forward, pressing against the its neck. Same thing happens here, except you’re on your husband (hopefully). Also, this position has a great buy one get one offer – you’re under the sheets and you’re moving enough for too. No coffee can heat up your insides like it.

5. WWS:

13.Crab

S for sex, and you’ll see the two Ws soon enough. This one’s like an army drill, for disciplined experts only (no clothes, no bed). But when you’re facing each other, sitting leg-over-leg, you won’t feel the cold one bit. It’s intimate, it runs on body warmth and the heat of movement. You’ll dig it.

You asked. We answered.

Dear Ms Blacklace,

Who knew Bangalore could be such a cold place? When my husband and I first moved here from Gurgaon in summer, all our friends told us there was no winter to speak of. But this is bone chilling. And you know what the worst part is? I don’t feel like having sex anymore because I hate to take my clothes off (you might not believe it, but I usually want fun-under-the-sheets a lot more often than he does). What should I do?

Frozen-to-the-bone

Dear Ms Bone,

Haha, I believe it. It’s a common misconception that women don’t have as high a sex drive as men. I know several who can’t have enough of it. Getting to the point: the simplest solution to the cold is having sex! It’s like swimming. Your teeth chatter only until you plunge in headfirst. Same here. Of course you won’t want to take off your clothes, but once you do, you won’t be able to stop. To kickstart your night, try one of the positions I’ve listed up there. They’ll work as a good warm up for your heightened sense of pleasure. Go for it!

If you have any sex/relationship questions, don’t hesitate to write to me at blacklace@zenparent.in. Your queries will be treated anonymously. Have a sexy weekend ahead!

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