5 white lies you don’t want to tell your kids

white lies to kids- Parenting resources by ZenParent

We’ve all done it – say many a simple white lie that will get us out of a sticky situation. If you don’t eat this, the monster will come home, If you eat so many chocolates, ugly worms will grow from your teeth. Well, that one is partially true. However, it seems like some of these might set a bad example for our kids especially if they figure out that we are lying. Here are some types of lies you might wanna avoid –

1. This doesn’t hurt. Yes, we’ve all parroted this at some point or the other – No, the shots don’t hurt at the doctors. But it doesn’t help the child deal with it. Here, it is more important to prepare her for the real experience rather than make what is obviously painful sound painless. In such an environment, it becomes like trivializing your child’s pain. And this doesn’t make them trust you too much. Instead, say something like, I know it’s scary but I promise it won’t hurt for too long. This acknowledges their fear and pain and assures them it’s all going to be okay.

2. I’m going to leave you here if you don’t yada yada. Yeah, it’s one of the most obvious white lies. Everyone knows you aren’t going to leave them anywhere, right? Wrong. Your 3 year old actually doesn’t know that. And it’s one of his biggest unexpressed fears. Instead allow him to choose his consequences – If you don’t walk out with me right now, we can’t go to the beach in the evening or If you don’t stop creating a scene now, I will not bring you here again.

don't lie to your child- Parenting resources by ZenParent

Image Source

3. Your brother never did any of that. He was the best. Egging on one child to compete with the other seems like fair game. Only, it isn’t coz it’s no fun being compared and even lesser fun thinking your parents like your brother more than you. This isn’t the teachable moment parents are envisioning it while saying it. Instead just tell her that you’re upset with her behavior and what you’d rather she do.

4. It’s all going to be okay. This is the most innocuous in this list. We’ve all grown up hearing this and we turned out fine. Yes, we did. But here’s why you might consider not parroting it to your kids – it might leave them slightly under-prepared for everything that is to come. It is inevitable that something frightening is going to happen but leaving them with a false sense of security isn’t very useful in the long run. Instead say, Oh I’m so sorry that happened to you. But let’s look past this and we can make this hurt less.

no lies to kids- Parenting resources by ZenParent

Image Source

5. You’re the best. This is the opposite of Number 3. Everyone thinks their child is a shining star. But providing the right encouragement is more important than providing an overdose of overconfidence. An exaggerates sense of self-esteem also seems to backfire and makes kids feel ashamed if they don’t perform on par. Instead say stuff like I loved your enthusiasm on stage. You were all lit up.

Click here to know what a tired mom has to say…

Featured Image Source

loader