5 tried and tested ways to get your kids to love each other more

how to make kids to bond with each other - ZenParent

My kids fight a lot. But they also hug, hang out and have fun. My husband is super close to his brothers and I am always amazed at the camaraderie and the bonding they share. Having seen a lot of siblings who bicker, complain or downright hate each other, I would love for my kids to have the kind of bond that my husband has with his siblings. Here are a few things that will encourage your children to bond more with their siblings (tried and tested by the in-laws with good results!)

1. Talk about it: It might seem like it’s obvious that siblings should love each other, but it is very important that parents talk about it. Constantly reiterate to your children that they have to look out for each other and how family comes first. The other day my kids were at each other’s throats and I sat them down and reminded them they only have four more years with each other. Then one will be off to college and life will never be the same again. Sometimes, kids also need perspective when they are fighting over who took the bigger apple!

2. Highlight: When they do nice things for each other and behave well, highlight it in your conversation. “See what a nice thing your sister has done for you.” “Can you thank your brother for this?” It is important to focus on the positives, and bring to their awareness, the nice things they do for each other.

how to handle sibling rivalry - ZenParent

3. Be a moderator, not the judge: When your kids are having a fight, act like a counsellor and moderate the argument. Hear them out and help them come up with the solution instead of stepping in, solving the problem and delivering the verdict. Mostly, in such situations, you will find that the kids actually come up with better solutions that make both of them happy.  If you deliver the verdict, invariably one child will be unhappy.

4. Drag them everywhere: Make sure they attend each other’s events. Even if your son is not interested in dance, take him for your daughter’s recital. Even if your daughter hates football, take her for your son’s match. Make them participate in each other’s accomplishments. This makes them bond better and build’s better memories.

parents teach kids to share their things - ZenParent

5. Force sharing: When parents are affluent, they decide to get one each of everything for every child so that they don’t fight. I believe in the reverse: irrespective of whether you can afford it or not, make them share. If you have kids of the same gender, even if you have the space, make them share a bedroom. It gives them many more moments of sharing and bonding. When it comes to family, privacy could be overrated.

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