5 Things you wish you never told your little one *Fun Post*

what your little one should not be told- Parenting resources by ZenParent

That moment of desperation or distraction when we tell our child something is quite honestly the most damaging thing we can do to them – be it promises, bribes or plain white lies, they affect kids in a different way than it would affect the elders. Even though their attention span is small, unless you deliver, they simply can’t let it go!

Here are 5 things you’ll wish you never told your child –

1. I promise you can have an ice cream– They don’t understand fake and you don’t want to be the one to teach them that. Be it a promise of going to the beach, of a candy bar or even sunny skies, kids consider promises to be written in water and carved on stones. And should you break this holy oath, all hell will break loose and you only have yourself to blame. And to them it won’t matter that you only said it to shut them up at the movies or to tame a tantrum at the supermarket aisle. They will

Instead- Keep a stock of treats that you can release to your child in a timely fashion – be it some lollypops, or some surprise egg toys, make sure to keep a stash of things that your tot loves at home. So you can promise and deliver. The key is to restrict these treats so much that the need for wanting them will accomplish your goal in the moment.

don't tell your lo- Parenting resources by ZenParent

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2. Don’t tell ANYONE – Unless you want everyone from the bus conductor to the supermarket clerk to know your secret, don’t ask them to keep it in. They want to and they really try but they’ll end up telling someone, who tells someone else and before you know it, goodbye privacy! This also encourages strangers to abuse your child if they know well enough to keep a secret. So shady waters.

Instead- Just don’t tell them stuff you don’t want to be out in the open. Also, encourage them to immediately tell either parent if someone else tells them a secret. Practice by telling innocuous things to her and see if she feels secure enough to tell the other parent.

3. Guess where we are going in 5 weeks? Yes, the idea was to excite them about the Disneyland trip. But you’ve just bought yourself 5 weeks of hell. They don’t understand 5 weeks but they do understand Disneyland. And every single f-ing day till you actually go, you’re going to have to listen to – Are we going to Disneyland today? Or Is today 5 weeks? Till you wish you’d kept your mouth shhh.

Instead- Surprise is your best friend. As hard as it might be, hold it in till you can say it’s tomorrow. So much better!

what not to say to your lo- Parenting resources by ZenParent

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4. Can you play by yourself? Personally, this is a hit or miss for me. Sometimes, he obliges and other times, he leaks big fat tears of abandonment that make the situation seem like you traded him in at the store you bought him at for a better model. It’s just not worth it.

Instead – Word it better. Amma has no clue how to play Legos like you or No one makes better train circuits than you. Great job! They all accomplish the same thing in very different ways.

5. Do you know how I feel? Actually, no they don’t. We get it. Dealing with kids can be hard. But they don’t know that. And asking them to empathize with such a feeling is hardly going to help at all.

Instead – Just take the break you need. Give them the TV remote if need be.

Talking to kids and being clever about it can be an emotionally draining experience. When in doubt, stick to You’re so clever, I love you, Barbies, Legos and all the other stuff that’s going to keep you out of trouble.

Read and smile as this tired mom makes 20 confessions every mum can relate to!

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