5 Things Working Mothers Hate to Hear! – ZenParent Blogathon 3rd Runners-Up

Working woman or stay at home mom (SAHM)? That’s an ongoing battle, and an unnecessary one, if you ask me. It is also true, no matter what kind of a mother you are, there are always naysayers having a gala time criticizing you. As an erstwhile working mother and friend of many working mothers, I have realized that these are the top 5 statements that irritate us to no limit.

  1. “I feel so sad that you don’t get enough quality time with your child.”

It’s always a matter of quality and not quantity. Just because a working mother is out all day, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t connect with her child at all. And just because an SAHM spends all her day with her child, it doesn’t mean all that time is quality time. In today’s era of technology, there are many ways to connect with your child via phone, internet and so on. Even if that’s not possible, being completely one on one with your child for even 30 minutes, is enough for the child.

  1. “How will your child be attached to you if you are not around?”

Emotional attachment doesn’t necessarily come from physical proximity. So many SAHMs are not as emotionally connected to their children as their working counterparts are. In fact, many SAHMs are likely to mollycoddle and overprotect their children, leaving them unprepared to face the outer world as they grow. Emotional attachment is all a matter of time management. Also, the corporate industry is waking up to the necessity to support a working mother and help her balance career and family. What’s important is to not feel guilty for not spending time with your child. Naysayers are expert at harnessing this guilt. Don’t waste your time in guilt when you can spend it enjoying it with your child.

  1. “As if Money is more important than your child!”

It’s not always about money. It’s true that, in this era of high cost of living, it is mandatory for both the husband and wife to work to make the ends meet. But it is also important for a woman to establish her own identity and maintain her self-esteem. A confident woman raises confident and self-sufficient children.

  1. “Instead of spending money on maids to care for your child, why don’t you stay at home and save that money?”

Well, it is her money and she will spend it as she likes. Okay, ranting done. Snobbery aside, let’s think of it this way. If the working mother has staff to handle basic household chores requiring nothing beyond her supervision, that saves her the time which she can spend with the family instead of spending her time and energy in household chores. All that will do is create and increase frustration. After all, she can always to choose to take on some chores like cooking or dusting when mood strikes her. Also note that, a stay-at-home mom doesn’t necessarily do EVERYTHING at home. She too has hired help.

  1. “We have brought up our kids and now we should bring up your kids too?”

It is true that for a woman to remain sane while managing her career and home, she needs support from her immediate family like parents or in-laws. While many grandparents take up this responsibility enthusiastically at the outset, it starts to wear them down because, face it, they are growing old and they really don’t have that much stamina to handle those little bundles of energy. Stress and exertion add to already failing health and leads to clashes within family, despite their love for their grandchildren. This situation can be avoided and resolved by not handing over the kids completely to the grandparents. Hire some help to do some basic chores like cleaning up after the kids and let the grandparents be around in the supervisory capacity leaving them stress-free to pamper their grandchildren to the fullest.

Raising children is a journey and a two-way learning process. Making mistakes is inevitable and it’s okay if your children see you make mistakes. More importantly, it is not a competition – not even a cross-generational competition. It is more important – and fun – to support one another in this journey instead of being judgmental.

This Article Won The Third Prize At ZenParent Blogathon. It Has Been Authored By Deepti Dani.

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