5 Things to Consider if being a SAHM is for you

Many a mother’s dilemma after she has had her baby (assuming finances are taken care off)  is whether to quit her job and take care of the baby or engage a caregiver and resume her career. Here are a few things you need to consider:

1. Personality : As much as we all like to believe, all mothers are not the same and don’t feel the same about dealing with children. It does not make them a better or worse parent. But some people are naturally inclined towards children and some or not. Some of us have a shorter fuse than others. It is a personality thing and if you think you are better providing quality than quantity, getting a care giver and having a career is a good option for both of you.

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2. Outside Affirmation: The role of a SAHM is a thankless job . Yes, the satisfaction of knowing that your child is in the best hands is great. But, it is also true that on many days you feel that you are simply unappreciated for all that you do. Being a cook/cleaner/nanny/teacher etc is taken for granted and you might wonder whether it is all worth it. It is a very valid question and you need to be totally at peace with the idea that you are not going to receive any external validations for all that you do. No pay checks or appraisals to say “Atta girl” . And you have to be sure that you would be ok with it. It is not easy when you have had a career before you became a mom.

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3. Patience : Some of us simply do not have the patience to deal with really little children. Even when they are ours. Our patience wears thin and we may find ourselves yelling a lot , frustrated, sometimes in tears or may even feel like spanking our kids. If you feel this way, and are more frustrated than at peace on most days, then it is best you consider being a working mom than a SAHM.

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4. Taken for Granted : As though it is not enough that you feel that your family takes you for granted, you might also be taken for granted by your extended family and sometimes neighbours !  “Oh you are NOT WORKING- do you think you can volunteer for this?”  “You  MUST BE FREE , can you please go and pick up my cousin’s aunt from the railway station?”

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5. No Breaks: While working, you might have a coffee break with colleagues, a team lunch at a nice restaurant or an offsite at a refreshing resort!  No such luxury if you are a SAHM.  An uninterrupted shower is your best hope for a break especially when the children are really young.

I may have made it sound like choosing to be a SAHM is one of the most terrible decisions you can make. Far from it. Not having to run every morning and evening; not having to scramble to find a care provider if your child falls sick; not having to worry about an unexpected holiday declaration at school ; not having to worry about project deadlines that keep you at work late hours; having the flexibility to take your child to any class that might be interesting for them; reading with them on a regular basis etc etc.. There ARE many  benefits to being a SAHM.  There is no right or wrong . There is only what is right for your family and for your personality.

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