4 tips from Indian politicians for great sex

No, no, don’t be flummoxed. Our wonderful netas aren’t launching a sex guide — but maybe they should. After all, they talk about it as if they are sex experts, don’t they? Confused? Don’t be. According to a recent news report, when a woman leaves her hair loose, it can er…attract certain “sexual” energies. We found this piece of information so precious that we decided to scour the internet for all the great things Indian politicians have said about sex and turn it into a sex guide for you. You can thank us later.

Women, let your hair down

That a woman’s hair is a key part of how attractive she is to the opposite sex, if you really want to crank the heat up ladies, stop tying your hair and leave it loose and you will definitely have amazing sex. How, you ask? Well, if the members of the website of the right wing organisation, Hindu Janajagruti Samiti are to be believed, hair contains something called Raja subtle-component, which is associated with action and passion. When women leave their hair free, this component can be converted into the Tama (something related to ignorance) which in turn leads to “increased sexual thoughts”. Therefore, loose hair = great sex.

Turn off your TV

Ghulam Nabi Azad of the Indian National Congress once said, “In olden days people had no other entertainment but sex, which is why they produced so many children. Today, TV is the biggest source of entertainment. Hence, it is important that there is electricity in every village so that people watch TV till late in the night. By the time the serials are over, they’ll be too tired to have sex and will fall asleep. Then they won’t get a chance to reproduce. When there is no electricity, there is nothing else to do but produce babies.”

Well, this one we kind of agree with. Except there’s a bigger source of entertainment than TV: Sex.

Eat chowmein (and chicken) all day, every day

Oh come on, you remember this. It was a turning point in the history of India when Khap leader Jitender Chhatar claimed, “Chowmein leads to hormonal imbalance evoking an urge to indulge in such acts.” Maybe it’s the MSG? Whatever this powerful secret ingredient is that’s making people randy, it’s time for you to take advantage of and spice things up in the bedroom.

Another gem by Bihar MLA Vinay Bihari: ““People who eat more non-vegetarian food like chicken and fish are inclined towards carrying out molestation and rape.”

Don’t do yoga

 

Any kind of exercise is bound to do your sex life good, but apparently yoga will make it go south. BJP minister Murli Manohar Joshi once said, “I believe if yoga comes into the life of common people, then the daily incidents of rape, I would not say, they will cease to exist, but there will definitely be a decrease in them.” Ah. so doing yoga reduces the tendency to want to have sex. Hm. So that’s one exercise you should definitely steer clear of if you want to have great sex.

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