4 effective ways to deal with your Ill-Mannered child

good manners for your kids- Parenting resources by ZenParent

Manners matter. Period.

Every parent owes it to the world to teach their kids- good manners. Children may be born with a number of inborn qualities but conducting oneself politely in any setting, be it at home or outside, is not one of them. It’s important to start as early as possible so that good manners become their way of life – it is a lasting education.

It’s imperative to stress on manners which are the simplest skills kids pick up. It is important to sit down and discuss with your kids the value of good manners. You could tell them that by being a good mannered child would help them have a lot of friends and gain respect from others. Once the kids understand the bearing good manners have on others, they’re more likely to integrate courtesy in their own behaviour.

However, most parents go through a phase where their kid’s courtesy is on a downhill and it’s tough to not lose your cool. Do not fret! If and when it happens, it’s time to pull your kid in for a B.B.M – Bad Behaviour Makeover.

1. The first step in any makeover is to identify what needs to be changed – In this case, a particular manner that needs to be corrected has to be taken care of. So what does your kid do that is considered impolite? Over a period of a week, delve deep and take a thoughtful look at your kid’s ill-mannered ways and identify the underlying source of your child’s incivility.

2. The next step is to set up a moratorium on bad manners. Be firm and refuse to allow the rude behaviour. Call out any rude behaviour immediately.

good manners for your child- Parenting resources by ZenParent

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Quoting from ‘The Big Book of Parenting Solutions’ by Dr. Michele Borba “Use the 3 B’s of Discipline: When your child uses an impolite comment or behaves inappropriately, immediately correct the behaviour by using the three B’s of discipline: Be Brief, Be Private so no one but you and your child is aware you’re correcting your child, and Be Specific.”Waiting for the right time when only your child can hear your rectification, preserves self-respect/ esteem but still lets a child know that their particular behaviour is undesirable.

3. The third step would be to replace loutishness with the right manners. Teaching good manners can be done in fun ways so that they stick. You could opt to have “Manner of the Week” where the chosen manner can be printed out and stuck on the door of the kid’s room or the refrigerator. It’s even more fun when the whole family participates together and helps when they are supportive. Also find new ways to practice the chosen manner over the entire week as kids absorb more through repetition. Another fun way is to build stories or jingles on the chosen manners. Provide fun ways to practice till they become a habit.

4. Also, remember to appreciate your child the moment your child uses those manners and let them know that you’re pleased by their efforts. The fastest way to shape behaviour is by indicating it the instant the child does the action the right way.

Disclaimer: This makeover will not happen overnight and takes a lot of work and above all patience. A good manner is the result of extensive work, tolerance, and assiduous drill. There’s no way around it. So keep encouraging your child’s efforts until you get the results you hope for.

And don’t settle for less. Good luck!

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