In real world, our actions speak louder than words. The attitude, views, goals, and perspective of a child depends to a large extent on what she learn from her parents. In this article, we’ll look at 11 mistakes parents could commit, often without realizing it.
Parenting mistake #1 – not physically affectionate enough
If your child intentionally disturbs you, it is because you aren’t paying as much attention to her as you should. Of course you’re busy, so no one blames you really. At the same time, you should set aside an hour everyday when you schedule nothing else; ask her about her activities that day, if she did something new, if she’d rather have done something differently and why.
Parenting mistake #2 – overreacting to mistakes
If your child is lying, you probably haven’t taken it very well when she’s done something you don’t approve of in the past. Don’t yell at her – sit her down calmly and let her speak first. Then, you can explain why you think she did wrong and what she should have done instead.
Parenting mistake #3 – advising more than encouraging
If your child has poor self-esteem, it’s likely that you’ve been telling him what to do more often than assuring him that he’s done well. Every time he does something that’s of clear importance to him, make sure you praise him for the effort first and present your advice after his enthusiasm has worn off.
Parenting mistake #4 – disciplining them regularly in public
FYI, siblings, friends and cousins could also be counted as public. So if he does something wrong when other people are around, wait for the chance for him to be alone with you before you reprimand him. When you do, don’t blow it out of proportion.
Parenting mistake #5 – not letting them choose
If you buy everything for your children and they still take things that don’t belong to them, it could be that you don’t let them select whatever they want to on their own. Of course, you have to put your foot down if their choices are extravagant, but on the whole, you’re really not spoiling them if you let them pick what they like.
Parenting mistake #6 – helping them too quickly
If your child is a coward, you’re probably making her too used to you solving all her problems before she’s even had a chance at it. Don’t remove every obstacle from her path. Let her attempt her own solution first, and if she’s still struggling after you allow her a sufficient period of time, go to her aid.
Parenting mistake #7 – comparing them with other kids constantly
If your child is is of a jealous nature, you could be comparing her to her siblings, cousins or friends consistently. Remember, it doesn’t matter if your neighbour’s son has scored 96% in last year’s maths paper and your child stopped short of 68%. Different people have different abilities, and it’ll be better for both yourself and for her if you keep it in mind.
Parenting mistake #8 – not praising them enough
If your child gets angry quickly, he could be justified in it if you’re always picking at his shortcomings and not highlighting his strengths. No one’s saying you should let him get away with what he isn’t good at – just make sure you also keep telling him that he’s pretty good with painting, English or math more often than you point out his flaws in creativity or logical ability.
Parenting mistake #9 – ordering them around
If your child doesn’t respect other people’s feelings, the reason could be that you’re as blunt with him as he is with those around him. It’s important to consider his feelings when you speak to him. Tell him the truth, by all means, even if the truth in some instance is that he isn’t as good at sports as he thinks. Just say it in a way that won’t hurt him too badly. That way, he’ll learn that he has to do the same with others.
Parenting mistake #10
Parenting is not just another job; it’s a lifelong commitment. And with the hectic schedule of our day to day lives, it’s easy to fall into habitual behavior. Unfortunately, some of those habits are counterproductive. Remember these symptoms, as well as tips for breaking them.
A version of this article appeared on Idealist 4 ever