10 after-effects of having a Mom Brain *Funny Post*

mommy brained- Parenting resources by ZenParent

I’ll be the first to admit that my brain’s become bheja fry ever since having a kid. I’ve become scatter brained, my priorities have entirely changed, and sometimes; you just don’t wanna get in there unless you want to see bats-shit crazy. Here’s what’s changed –

1. Scatter brained – I can forget something I’ve been writing lists for, setting reminders and telling myself a million times, in an instant. This could be milk during grocery shopping, the kid in the shop, just anything till suddenly the light bulb goes off.

2. Dinner who? My husband’s biggest complaint is that I no longer enjoy dinner outside. I used to be a big fan of trying different cuisines, dining out, doing it the French way even, 3 hours a meal. Now, I’ve only just reigned in the panic attacks. Dining out means packing snacks, entertainment, color pencils, small toys, etc. for my child; scouring the menu for child-friendly options; being apologetic for possible tantrums and food spills and constantly trying to have him shove enough nutrition into his mouth. Who wants to dine out now? Ordering in, while I sit around in PJs sounds like heaven.

3. Anxiety – Raising a child can make you anxious. Shower schizophrenia is real. You know that feeling when you think they’re calling out to you especially when you’re in the shower and all vulnerable. Even though they may be sleeping? Yeah. Is that a speck of dust or is it a dangerous bug? Did I latch the window? Can his fingers get into the grate of the fan? Can he reach the gas? It’s endless and it’s chaotic.

moms and their super brains- Parenting resources by ZenParent

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4. Exhausted and yet can run like a full tank – It’s a fine balance. I’m constantly exhausted but I can go on forever. Even after the kids sleep, I have cleanup, kitchen work, stacking toys and books back in their places, probably catching up on emails and TV shows, it’s endless. Yet I can’t go back to sleep as soon as I hit the pillow.

5. High tolerance for grossness – Yeah, back when I was childless, I used to judge women who mindlessly shoved their fingers up toddler nostrils and got out the goobers. And wiped it down their skirts. Now nothing grosses me out. That greenish thing in the sink? Nope. Poop? Check. I’ve seen it all. Really.

6. Multitasking – Yeah, I can think about 65 other things than what I’m doing. If you go into my head, it’d go something like this – I need to get milk today. Wonder if they stocked back that organic milk. Ooh, the organic waste disposal’s tomorrow. Did I take out the bathroom trash? What’s up with the shower drain anyway? I need the plumber. Did I load the washing machine? Oh before that I need fold the laundered pile. Speaking of which, A’s pants have faded. I think there’s a sale in Pantaloon’s. Those kurtis there were awesome last time. Wonder how Tanya is. Oh and she had that back pain too. See what I mean?

7. I have prescience – I used to think that was bull – the ability to foresee something before it happens. But since being a mommy, I can assure you it exists. I can cup my hands in front of my child seconds before he throws up, sense the call for me moments before it comes, yank out my son’s hand an instant before the door shuts exactly where his fingers were. Call it sixth sense, call it prescience, it’s there and it’s really strong.

moms and their brains- Parenting resources by ZenParent

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8. Emotionally relinquished – I defended my PhD the same day my son came down with a massive viral infection. Guess which emotion won? The euphoria was wiped down by the dread that it shouldn’t be a bad infection for my son. And that is what my mommy brain wants now – a happy and healthy child, over anything else.

9. Tea, tea and more tea – Always the fan of tea. For you it might be caffeine. But we need this stuff. To keep us going. It’s borderline really. Once cup too many and you’re crazy but well, who’re you kidding, you’re crazy anyway.

10. Relaxation – Wait, what is relax? You mean, don’t care about what’s going on with the child? I’m sorry, I’m going to need a bottle of wine, noise canceling earphones and a room to myself, thanks.

Click here to read what this mom wants to confess…

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